3 Months.

It's been exactly 3 months today Buddy died.

I still miss him and cry for him and long to be with him and I always will.

No one ever loved me like he did and I never had a friend or a connection like I had with him and I never will.

I also had this weird dream I made pasta for my BFF but for some reason accidently strained it in the bucket of the pool skimmer(I know, ewww, right?) and it had algae and all slimy skungy stuff in it and another one I was talking to my ex-friend N who told me she never married or had kids and I told her she made the right choice. I also was looking into a hot air balloon adventure....until I found out it costs over 300$ each( and you probably don't even get to go up for that long) so forget that idea, and I can't stop thinking about that catastrophic flood in Texas, esp. that washed away a girls' summer camp(and they were even in cabins,too, not even tents!) killing several kids and it just breaks my heart. The youngest also goes camping this week(he leaves today) with his friend and his family only my hubby 'forgot" to even tell me ahead of time and I just found out by a notice that popped up on the computer last night and now I have to last-minute switch my menus around for the week.

Shit.

It was also sooo hot yesterday we had to come inside early and supposed to get a storm later today to cool it down and my hubby will likely miss pickleball even though he just  went yesterday  although they had to stop after an hour due to the heat he complained the others are "too old and had to stop as they were too hot". Beja also ran to the door, frantically barking and jumping up at the door pushing it open with his front paws wanting to go in so I let him in and just after I noticed a hawk circling above so he must have sensed it and not wanted to get snatched up. He's a smart little dog, and the good thing about me being fat ,too, is it's all squishy like a waterbed for him to sit or lay on my belly or chest.

Check out this pre-roll it has fancy specks on it and lately every time I smoke weed my throat burns and feels raw and irritated and yesterday it also felt like I had a big hairball stuck in the middle of my throat  and this morning I noticed the "whites" of my eyes are yellow(jaundice) again and I also heard a teen was stabbed to death in my old neighbourhood in Toronto and PM Carney was at the Calgary Stampede and he looked like a dumb hillbilly  wearing a cowboy hat and people online are always so mean to his poor wife as well saying she's ugly and looks like a man and I know exactly what that feels like because I do,too. I still feel like something is "off" about the 30 YR old's GF,too, something just "rubs me the wrong way" and I can't put my finger on it but she still just gives me bad vibes...if I was a dog the fur on my back would stand up.

A plastic daffodil in a Grecian urn.-Vivienne Marcus