Update.

For most of the day yesterday Buddy seemed to be doing much better, playing with the new squeaky toy I got him( seen here) going for his walks and he even ate half his food( after not eating for 2 days) so I was hoping he was feeling better after the yelping in pain but then later in the day it started again; he was hunching and arching his back( sort of like how a cat does) and loudly yelping in pain and he staggered  slowly and gingerly over to me for comfort and a dog arching his back like that indicates acute pain, generally back or abdomenal and he has had spinal issues before( about 3 years or so just before I went to Cuba) but after I put him on strict rest and no longer allowed him to jump up and down or go up and down stairs but lifted and carried him it resolved. it's  a common issue in Dachshunds, esp. as they age(and he's 14) or get fat and his previous owner before mentioned how he had it with him too and was even thinking of putting him down due to it as the spinal surgery cost a whopping 6 thousand $$$$ yet he also has a bloated bruised abdomen too(I've suspected cancer for awhile now) so it could be either....or both Either way he's in alot of pain so I gave him more CBD oil to relieve his pain and he soon was able to relax and drift off into a good deep and much-needed sleep.

It really pains me to watch him suffering like this and I hardly had much sleep last night as I kept checking on him and he slept pressed right next to my side and I always had one hand on his side to make sure he was still breathing and every little sound or movement I would wake up and check on him.As awful as it sounds in a way it would also be a 'blessing" for him in a way when he does die though because it will finally end all his suffering and pain and he will finally be at peace, even though it will kill me and a big part of me will die with him. Ironically though the sore on his face(I also suspect a cancerous lesion) that he's had for a year now is looking the best it ever has and is the smallest it's ever been and looks close to almost finally healing up, and every few days I have to debride it and clean it and disinfect it  as he scratches it(it must be itchy as it scabs over and heals) and tears the scab off and it gets infected and green pus oozes out.

Needless to say my stress, anxiety, worry,and fear is going thru the roof lately as well. Every day now I'm so afraid is The Day; the day he's going to die, and every morning I wake up and he's still here with me I'm so relieved and overjoyed and I thank God for another day as it's a blessing; a gift. I feel like his days are numbered though and we're on "borrowed" time and running out of time and there's not much time left and it's a scary dreadful feeling, just waiting for it to happen, knowing it'll be soon. My heart is aching and literally breaking. I've never loved anyone like I love him and he has brought me unconditional love, friendship, loyalty, joy, healing, and light into my life I've never had before and will never have again. He is the greatest blessing in my life and the greatest thing to ever happen to me. Getting him was the best decision I ever made.When he dies I die with him. He is  my life.

My mother also said yesterday I don't complain; I have an opinion!  ...yeah....right, that's a good one though and I'll have to say that to her the next time she's bawling me out for complaining; I'll tell her, I'm NOT complaining; I'm just stating my opinion! She's such a big hypocrite though as she complains just as much( if not more) as I do yet she's always hassling me for complaining! She should look in the mirror! A fellow stoner also told me a cool idea about putting apple juice in my bong instead of water as it keeps it cleaner and not only that but it makes for a nicer smoke and it makes it taste a bit fruity,too and guess what? it worked! Who would have thought?(and no, I didn't drink it after! Ewwww!)