Baller.

This is the 25 YR old the other day in his spanking-new clothes that he bought at an upscale men's store. He's a sharp dressed man, a Baller, Big Pimpin'.He seriously looks like Russian Mafia, esp. with the shaved head! He bought something like 5-6 shirts that easily must have cost 75$ each as well as a fancy leather jacket that he got on sale  50% off for 375$ and  dropping all that cash that just suddenly seemed to appear out of nowhere got me all suspicious like OK, where did all this come from all of a sudden? Are you doing a little something on the side? You're not dealing drugs or something, are you? as his minimum-wage 10$/HR at the grocery store just isn't going to "cut" it to be able to possibly afford such a fine wardrobe and so it made me wonder and I advised him If you are, just be careful and don't get caught like my cousin did! He  tried to assure me it's all legit, saying he's been saying $$$ for years now and that he gets 125$/HR teaching private jiu-jitsu lessons and even hopes to open his own jiu-jitsu studio one day. That would be awesome!

Speaking of illegal goings-on, I have always suspected the guys next door were drug dealers as they are "shady" and I have always have picked up this "vibe" from them( one of them is also the owner of The Beast too; that huge Mastiff  he lets run loose and I always figured was used as a guard dog) and yesterday I saw one of them picking up his stash from a bunch of guys in a car parked at the corner and  2 police cars were over there again as well parked right across the street from their house, staking it out, and when I came inside I told my mother about my discovery.....and awhile later my hubby comes in and informs me that they heard  us talking too, from the driveway, he said we were so loud, and they said tell your wife we're not drug dealers! I don't care though; it's not my business; it was just an observation,and I'm not a snitch and I don't go around causing trouble for people(unless they cause trouble for me first and then look out!) but just in case I somehow end up with a bullet in my head you'll know where to look now they know that I know....I feel like I live in the ghetto!

Speaking of neighbours, the ones at the corner getting their house all renovated spending thousands of $$$ I thought at first must be moving and then figured must have either inherited $$$ or won it my hubby said he heard someone around here won the lottery so that must be them, and I also saw L across the street and asked her how she's doing as she looks so thin, frail and sick now and she wasn't all "there"; even her mind  is gone now, and her voice was raspy and deep and her mind wandered; it's like she has Alzheimers or something and she muttered, I'm a bit 'off, but I'm seeing the doctors.... and she shuffled away. It was just so sad to see and it's like she's not even there anymore, like she's "lost" herself and I wonder if the grief of losing her beloved dog last summer just broke her and this is what's left of her now? She was devoted to that dog and if she loved him like I do Buddy , and if he was her entire world and everything she lived for like Buddy is to me when he died it would have just shattered her and left her destroyed and maybe that's  what happened to her? Maybe it's grief?

Another of my Facebook friends also announced that he's transitioning to female and he's the second one to do so and I think it's a brave and courageous thing for him to do, to publically reveal himself like that because there is sure to be backlash and he's changing his entire self, entire being, entire identity, entire life, but at the same time you  have to be true to yourself and you can't keep living a lie or it will destroy you; you have to be you and do what you're comfortable with and what makes you happy. I've lived a secret double-life for years as well( not trans; for other reasons but I know what it's like to live secretly and not letting your guard down for fear your secret identity will be revealed) and I know  how difficult it is and how it eats you up and how conflicted you are and the tremendous stress it puts you under, not wanting your secret to be found(and in my case it would have been dangerous if it was so there was that added stress) so I can only imagine his relief now that he can finally be free to be his true authentic self at last; no more hiding and I wish him the best. When you no longer have to live undercover and can finally emerge from out of the shadows it's such a feeling of freedom and relief, let me tell you!

The 18 YR old also somehow ran out of $$$$ from her student loan and didn't budjet her $$$$ properly and spent more than she had and now she won't have enough $$$ for her last YR of school so she's scrambling around trying to figure out what to do and how to get the remaining $$$ she'll need to finish off her last  YR, maybe get another loan if that's even possible, or even have to take a year or two off school and work to get the $$$ I'm not sure but it's an awful situation regardless and yesterday my hubby got pizza from Pizza Hut too which both he and my mother know the 17 YR old and I both hate(even though there's other pizza places he could have got it from that we all like) and he was 2 HRS late getting it too and I hadn't eaten in 6 HRS waiting for the pizza, starving, and after all that it was that crap with the gross greasy crust I hate so I was soooo pissed-off and still had nothing to eat and then he had the nerve to blame me  and call me  an ingrate  for NOT eating it and I was furious and told him , OK then if I gave you something you  hate and think is gross, like onions or tomatoes and YOU didn't eat it would that make YOU  an 'ingrate' too? I swear I'm just so fed-up with that ASSHOLE!

I also was looking at a tree yesterday and I saw creepy faces in it that looked like an old hag and the name Baba Yaga  kept coming to my mind and I kept getting these vague memories from my childhood I was trying to remember what they were but all I could recall was it was from childhood story  or legend  and I also had weird dreams last night too: one years into the future I went to buy a Chihuahua and I only had 200$ saved up that took me a year to save up but it cost over 3000$ and I didn't have enough $$$ and another that the Gov't had bombed my bedroom and I was mad that my passport and credit card was in there as well as my diary and collection of hippo figurines but I was glad that at least Buddy wasn't in the room at the time.