Dreams And Revelations.

I had some strange dreams and revelations lately:

One of the dreams a proper old British gent sat down beside me on a bench at a park and said to me I hear Geneva is nice this time of year and then he just picked up his newspaper and got up and walked away! I also had another one where I head someone gasp and clearly say to me, Faiza! What have they done to you? even though that clearly isn't my name, at least it isn't now, but it might have been in another lifetime perhaps, who knows? I assume they were referring to either my family or my life that broke me  and damaged me so hard although I suppose I'll never really know for certain.

I also had a startlting revelation the other day too that in Heaven  when we have spirit bodies (as opposed to the physical human bodies we have now here on Earth) that we don't have gender; that we are what they would call gender fluid  or Non binary as the need for gender( male or female) is only necessary here on Earth in physical bodies in order for reproduction but in the spirit world there is no reproduction so there's no need for gender and so no need to separate, divide, and label people by gender, as male or female; you're just you, and that the angels are the same; they are genderless,too, as is God and that explains when it states that God made manin His image; he made them male and female and by referring to Himself as plural, such as We. Boy, I have to say that that one really blew me away! I never saw that one coming but it just goes to show why we are to love and accept everyone, regardless of gender or identity and not to discriminate, because we all come from God and regardless of gender (or lack of) we are escentially all the same on the inside.

I also heard the new Bruce Springsteen song Letter To You  and I have to say that I wasn't impressed even though I normally really like his music but this one was disappointing and sounded alot like a Bob Dylan-style and the other day the 25 YR old had his shirt on inside-out( yes, it was that  kind of day) and my mother often wears hers inside-out and even goes  out in public  like that, totally oblivious, and I often wear my underwear like that,too, but at least no one else sees it, and today Buddy did more gross smelly diarrhrea on my bedroom carpet again during the night ....ewwwwww.... and was still bleeding when he shit this morning for his walk, and even more than yesterday and it really worries me as bleeding is a sign of cancer although I know it can also be other  things too( like me when I had my colon polyp and was squirting copious amounts of blood out of my ass) and my oldest sent me an e-mail as well asking me to justify certain things from his childhood too , things he remembers growing up, a painful and difficult time I'd rather forget, although he also doesn't have the entire story and know the true extent of everything that occurred,either; the entire experience and how truly awful and unbearable it really was and how difficult decisions had to be made, decisions that no one should have to make but  had to be done but that were best for the family and he'll never truly know what it was like and has only heard and only remember bits and pieces of the story because he was so young and will never truly understand what I went thru but I will do the best I can to try and explain it to him although he will never truly know or understand because he was for the most part shielded from the worst of it and I bore the brunt of the worst of it so he(and the other kids) wouldn't have to. I pray to God daily to forgive me for my sins and I can only hope that the kids will as well.