Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!

Shit!!!!!

Yesterday when I took Buddy out for his walk it was snowing out! It wasn't even forecasted,either, so no warning(it was supposed to rain but it got so cold it ended up snow!!) so I didn't even expect it or see it coming, which made it even worse  and we normally get snow in November but this is just still October and I know I wasn't imagining it or hallucinating as I hadn't had any weed.....it was real all right.....shit!! Buddy wasn't too pleased either and he just sort of stood there and looked up like What the f*ck is this? Which is exactly how I felt,too. First it started off as just flurries but they were obvious flurries and not rain as they were clearly white and heavier than rain and then it got heavier and turned into big white flakes( no mistaking that!) and we ended up with a "dusting" on the roof tops and grass.

Shit.

This morning most of it has melted off the grass but still a bit on the roof.

Yesterday I also went back to the lab to get my morning cortisol test which had to be done between 8-10 am when cortisol levels are supposed to be at their highest( and then go lower as the day goes on) and before you can even go in they have a line-up outside you have to "pass" thru a Corona virus "screening" a series of questions and a hand sanitizer before you can even go in and wait and I was standing there waiting for 10 minutes in the long line(and I had an appointment,too, I wasn't a walk-in) and almost passed out and once I finally got in they said to stand on a blue socially-distanced circle and wait but I can't stand long or I faint and I was already on the verge of passing out anyway so they got me a chair to sit. Later in the evening I also tried to access my results online like I always do( and like I was able to get the exact same test results from the afternoon cortisol test I had done a few days ago no problem) but it said "certain results were not available to access online and I had to refer  to the ordering physician....." Uh,oh.... that must mean that they found  something and they don't want the patient knowing without the doctor to explain it! So that must mean then that my cortisol is either too low(Addison disease) or (most likely given the constant stress in my life) too high( Cushing's Syndrome) indicating adrenal failure as I had suspected, either due to an adrenal or pituitary tumour and if so then the cause of all my symptoms and ailments might finally  be solved, and all because I suspected an adrenal issues based on my symptoms and suggsted the doctor run the test... I see him next week and it will be interesting to see what he says, and if it turns out I do have a tumour causing all my pain, my fatigue, my memory issues, etc. I wonder how my family will feel when they find out since they always just accuse me of "making it up" and an "excuse" and just "being fat and lazy" and the 13 YR old cracking how I just lay around on the couch 24/7 (yet says nothing about my mother laying in BED all day....) when they find out it's an actual real medical issue and NOT just me being "lazy?" Today my lower back pain is even worse too it feels like my spine is going to snap in half and I feel soooo lethargic and the fatigue is debilitating and I feel so "woozy" and like I'm just fading away....

Yesterday was also my hubby's birthday; he turned 57, and the 17 YR old's sick with what seems to be a cold, even though at work she and everyone else always has to wear a mask.....so I guess they don't work as well as they say they do because she had to have caught it from somewhere, from someone, and Buddy felt bad all yesterday too and laid around and didn't eat all day and said his belly hurt and he didn't shit either so he might be constipated,  and the new router was supposed to be delivered too but they thought it was the 'wrong" address as when the delivery guy came he thought the house looked "too big" to just be the one family and thought it was a multi-family house or a rooming house and didn't know which "unit" it was for and what door to knock and he didn't want to just leave it so he took it back and when my hubby called to see where it was ( as it was supposed to arrive that day) they told him and he clarified it was the right address they brought it the next day.

 The 26 YR old is also learning Portuguese and the 22 YR old is studying Spanish which I think is good to know more than one language and I myself know 4 languages, and we got really good strawberries from the grocery,too( usually they come all fuzzy, bruised and squishy) because we know a guy at the produce dept. ( the 26 YR old!) who presonally picked them out for us and only selected the good ones, all personally hand-picked,  and the other day I was out on the back porch smoking weed and it was the same time my grumpy old neighbour at the back was out smoking on his deck,too, and he kept giving me The Look as I sat there blissfully exhaling large plumes of smoke from my bong and he got disgusted and stormed off back inside! ha, ha! I also again mis-read my recipe that said 800 ml of water but the print was sooo small and I'm "blind" and thought it said 300 ml....oops! Now I know why when I cook stuff I never end up with enough liquid and it always burns away! I always wondered why that happens!