Anniversary.

Today is our wedding anniversary. I can't believe it's been so long. It's also the biggest mistake of my life marrrying him and settling for someone I don't love and that doesn't love me and treats me like shit. Also having kids,too( with all the trauma, anxiety, worry and stress it caused me, it was overwhelming and broke me and then after all that, dedicating decades of my life to it they just ended up hating me anyway) as it ruined my life. We've been together for 32 years now and I was just 2 1/2 weeks away from turning 22 when I lost my virginity. It's just soooo long ago, more than half my life yet in some ways it also went so fast. Getting married and having kids was my dream actually but it wasn't like I had hoped, dreamed, and imagined it would be and ended up to be a nightmare and knowing what I know now I would have been better off staying single . Neither of us could do any better and no one else wanted either of us and we were friends and both wanted kids and for me to stay home and raise them and later we both agreed on homeschooling as well but that's really all we agree on or have in common. He always criticizes, berates, belittles and puts me down every chance he gets,too,and he hasn't f*cked me since our youngest was born and he's 13 now( and starting to grow a moustache already!) and my family also blames me for all my medical issues as well and hates me for being sick and even calls me "lazy" and lately my abdomenal pain is sooo bad it feels like something's going to explode, yesterday I had a massive headache, and I always feel so cold and I'm shivering and it feels like I live in a freezer and I'm always so dizzy, woozy, light-headed and lethargic and the worst thing about my arthritis( as well as the pain) is not being able to roll a decent joint!

My cousin A also moved to Spain, into the villa he inherited when his parents died but he already lives in Europe anyway so it's not that hard to be able move about around in the European Union, and the 17 YR old's old passport and birth certificate finally arrived in the mail, only separate from her new passport and I have to say I never expected to see it and my guess is it somehow must have got "lost" and they finally found it and mailed it out as all the other times it always was sent back in the same envelope with the new passport.I wonder if the 13 YR old's will come sometime soon then,too? I also heard noises coming from the cupboard and opened up the door and a mouse jumped out and Buddy scurried after it and I saw the little f*cker had eaten some of the chocolates we had stashed there for Christmas stocking stuffers and apparatnly it likes Kinder Eggs (it ate 2 1/2 of them!) and little chocolate foil-wrapped balls the most.Watching the news the reporter also broadcasted from home, from her living room and I could clearly see a little cannabis plant sitting there right in plain view beside her on a table( and my mother saw it too so I wasn't imagining it) obviously oblivious it was within camera range and I laughed my ass off it was so funny and I can just imagine some sweet little old lady Oh! What a lovely little plant! I wonder what it's called? 😄

My friend A ( in Ottawa) also had some  pork chops put up on his Facebook  which surprised me as he's Jewish and I said Pork chops? I thought you were Jewish?  and he replied he obviously doesn't keep very kosher and another of his friends replied that he's Jew-ish, and all the over-the-top propaganda about the new Corona virus vaccine and the first people to get it  is just waaay overdone and reminds me of Joseph Goebbels, and if you don't know who he was I advise you to look it up because the indoctrination and propaganda is eeringly similar, and now that the new "miracle-cure" vaccine is here it's interesting as well how now the infection rate has also now suddenly exploded to 2000 cases a day and now everyone's racing en masse to be vaccinated....what a "coincidence" my ass, and isn't it  interesting how well they timed that well, and the first to receive it will be the people in old age homes and Natives on reserves....the very ones they want to kill off,too....it reeks of genocide, so what ecaxtly is really  in those vaccines? I wonder if it's to kill off certain populations, to sterilize others, and to microchip and track others. It might even be the Mark Of The Beast mentioned in the Bible...How come as well no one is talking about how Santa is going to spread the virus going door-to-door, house-to-house all over the world and how are they going to explain that one to the kids?

I also had this weird dream last night I had only an hour to get to the airport to catch my flight but the problem is we live 2 HRS away from the airport, and on the way there I saw 5-6 cars heading that way along side us with guys holding AK-47 machine guns and I told the kids( who were little, like 4 or 5) to crouch down low in their seats just in case) and when I got there and opened up my suitcase a WOLF came out and started attacking! It was just soooo weird! I also tried to remember the names of the Archangels as well and I tried, Gabriel, Michael, Raphael....Donatello, Leonardo...no, wait a minute! Those are the Nimja Turtles!