Monday, January 4, 2021

Anniversary Of My Birth.


Today is my birthday, the day both my mother and I most hate. I am now 54. My hubby e-mailed me the above card and it's just sooo perfect for me,too, so awesome, so fitting to my personality and tastes with 2 of my fave. things: hippos and my dog! He must have made it himself somehow as it's so rare what are the odds that he'd actually be able to find  something this exact and rare out there so suited to me? The oldest also sent me a special sweet heart-felt birthday message full of love(which was my fave. birthday gift of all!), unlike the others who don't even bother; I never hear from the other out-of-town or out-of-province ones, either by e-mail or phone and even the ones that still live here in the house with me don't even bother to make me birthday cards anymore; they haven't for years even though they still do for my hubby for his birthday and Father's Day, just not for mine, and none of the kids are even up yet but even when they are I doubt they'll even wish me a Happy Birthday and other than getting a cake later it's pretty much just like a normal regular usual day for me. I did get the hippo jewellery box from my hubby as a gift and Godiva  chocolates from my mother and as my treat to myself I soaked in a nice long hot lavender Epsom salt bath and I'm going to pack a nice big bowl of weed later and I'm not  going to cook or do laundry today,either!

I got lots of love and well-wishes for my birthday from my Facebook friends as well(they care more about me than my own family does) and I got my first one last night from one of my friends in Australia because it was already today then with the time change and I was going to order-in ( because everyone's still under full lockdown and there's no dine-in anymore) my fave. Chicken Penne Al Forno from my fave. Italian place for my birthday dinner tonight( normally where I go out to eat) except wouldn't you know it with my luck they're closed Mondays ( which is today...of course) and on Sundays,too, which was yesterday so I couldn't even order it early ahead of time and save ot for today( doesn't it just figure?) so my mother says I'll just have to 'settle' for something else then and I told her no way! I'm tired  of always having to settle all the time; I'll just wait until tomorrow and have it a day late and get what I really want. I also heard a commercial for Arby's sandwiches are 5 for 15$ so I said wouldn't it just be easier to say each burger is 5$ and then my hubby laughed and said Uhh....5 divided by 15 isn't 5....it's 3; they're 3$ each, not 5..... Ooops! I never could do math, ha, ha! 😄

As for my actual birth day I was actually born 6 weeks early; I was a preemie, just like my 22 year old was, only he was born 5 weeks early becauswe for some unknown reason I had a bloodclot in-between the uterus and the cervix and I would bleed on and off from 10 weeks and it triggered a BIG bleed and labour at 35 weeks and he was born blue, floppy, limp, not breathing and unresponsive and had to be revived and spent a week in NICU with episodes where he'd stop breathing yet he was a good feeder, but I was the opposite; I was able to breathe ok but couldn't eat and needed a feeding tube and now I'm the opposite; boy can I eat but now I struggle to breathe. They don't know why I came early though medically speaking and my mother always joked I've always been impatient and couldn't wait, even from the begining and it was only a quick easy 4 hour labour,too, and even after all my kids I've never  had a 4 HR or an "easy" labour; my shortest was 14 1/2 hours and that was induced!  My longest was 24 HRS. Nothing, I mean nothing, has ever been easy for me.

As for my medical issues, I notice that the nausea, itching, and sweating is always worse at night for some reason, at bed-time, like it was when my liver was failing when I was pregnant with the youngest,who turns 14 next month, and I was born in the heydey of the Hippie movement and era, in 1967 and I would have loved to have been a teen or in my early 20's in the 60's and have gone to Woodstock and I still have the Hippie vibe and soul of the era I was born into and sadly now if my kids ever have kids they'll grow up in this New World Order where everything is controlled, regulated and micro-managed by Big Brother gov't , a Totalitarian regime that limits where you can and cannt go and tells you who you can and cannot see and restricts your movements and gatherings and now the line-up into the grocery store was ridiculous once again and went all the way around the street too it was like during war time lining up for rations like bread and sugar and with the over-blowing of the so-called "pandemic" and scaring and socially distancing and isolating  everyone  is nothing more than a psycholocial battle tactic: Divide and Conquer: everyone isolated from family and friends and all social connections and support systems, scared into submission, compliance, and blind obedience without question, easier to indoctrinate, brainwash, dominate, and control, and the one thing that I had before that I no longer have now is hope; hope things will look up, get better, improve, change, be temporary, not last, etc... I also used to have dreams.

 

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