Graupel.

Yesterday we got this really weird-looking snow; it looked fake actually, sort of like the stuff they'd have on movie sets, like tiny little styrofoam balls, only it was very real and it even has a name,too: graupel:  super-cooled water droplets collected and freeze on falling snowflakes. It's not quite snow, not quite ice,and not quite hail, but it's own unique formation and happens in winter storms, so I was right then afterall, when it was snowing yesterday I could have sworn I heard thunder but I thought I must have either been high or halluciniating or just imagining it but maybe it really was? Winter thunderstorms are unusual but they can  occur and I remember one other time in my life in Ottawa we were walking to church in a snowstorm and the snow was coming down and the sky was a pretty pink and I saw lightening and the priest told me that he saw it,too, so I knew I wasn't seeing things. The graupel is still here today, all over the grass ach carpet and it looks so fake, sort of like someone poured laundry detergent or dishwasher soap all over to make it look snowy.

Yesterday I also got a St. Therese tote bag in the mail all of a sudden show up from one of the Catholic charities I used to support back when I used to have $$$$ and the thought occurred to me I wonder if this was perhaps a sign from God that I should go back to church, or am I possibly maybe even being misled? That's the thing; I have to be careful to be able to tell what comes from God and what doesn't and to follow the right path and be careful I'm not deceived, and was it God that prompted me to leave in the first place....or is it Him nudging me to go back and how can I tell the difference? I'm always so unsure of myself and my life and who I am and what I should do and what's right, sometimes I can't even tell which way is up or down anymore and I have no idea where my life is going or what the future holds or what God wants from me, what I'm here for, what comes next, what my purpose is, what I should do, where I go from here, what God's plan for the rest of my life( whatever's left of it, that is) is, etc. and I feel so lost and confused, like I'm just floating out somewhere in the middle of the ocean, bobbing along on the waves, being carried out to sea, not knowing where I'll end up, what will come next, or if I'm ever going to be rescued.

Someone also purposely plucked the wick off  my new candle, rendering it un-usuable and the only reason one would  pluck the wick off a candle would be to be an asshole, and Buddy barfed up this foamy yellow stuff yesterday I assume to be stomach acid but was still eating and playing normally otherwise and no blood in his shit for days and he seems better now and the swelling in his hernia looks much less, and he's so smart,too, when he hurts he'll even come up to me and ask for his CBD drops,too, so he must know that it helps him and he feels better after! I was also watching a movie the other day and I recognized the Amalfi Coast in Italy (one of my fave. places I've been to as well as Santorini in Greece) and I later checked and sure enough it was and I think it's just so cool to recognize in movies places I've been to myself and it makes me feel like I was a jet-setter and maybe that's what I was  with all the travelling I  did( 37 countries so far), and now it feels like a lifetime ago, but at least ( for now anyway, until my mind fails me completely) I still have the memories and I'm so grateful I got to travel and see all the amazing wonderful things that I did.

On the news they also said the police in Montreal fined homeless people  800$ fine for disobeying the 8 pm curfew being outside! They're homeless; they live  outside and they have no $$$$, how are they going to pay? It might as well be a MILLION$! How heartless and cruel can you be? I swear to God I *HATE*  this country and I *HATE*  tyranny and oppression! It's turned into such a Police State!  My mother also treats my hubby like her errand boy always sending him out on errands to pick stuff up for her and to do this-and-that for her like he's her personal manservant and he'll jump as soon as she says "jump!" yet whenever I ask him for anything it's always such a big hassle and he takes forever to get around to it, and it disgusts me as well how kids  nowadays are so sexualized too and 13 YR olds look like they're in their 20's with the slutty way they dress with crop-tops, mini skirts, wearing make-up, etc. and look like little prostitutes( a pedophile's dream!) when they should  still be looking and acting like the little girls they are and NOT grow up so fast! No wonder there's so many teen moms! Holy shit! I can remember when I was 13 I was still playing with Barbie! The world is just sooooo f*cked-up! Why can't kids just be kids anymore?