Mystery Solved?

It's been 3 years now since Toronto billionaire couple Barry and Honey Sherman (pictured here) were found murdered  hanging sitting upright by their indoor pool in their mansion and I have been closely following the case (as I'm sure many people have been) all along and just the other day I read yet another article on it  and I could literally feel things moving and shifting around in my head as I read, as if things were all "falling" into place and something in my mind just all of a sudden "clicked" andit's like a light went on and everything just suddenly all came together like puzzle pieces aligning and fitting into place, sort of like how the character Beth Harmon visualized chess pieces moving and coming together in the series The Queen's Gambit  and I think I solved the murders: their son did it(and I thought my  kids were bad! That's even worse than my family!), with a strong "vibe" that the son's business partner is propbably also involved but definitely the son for sure; it all just came together and then the answer was just right there, glaringly obvious. It's hard to explain, but I've had these "things" before where I just know ; I just know things (incl. solving crimes) but I have no logical reason to know; for some reason it just "pops" into my head and I have either visions, revelations, inspirations, flashes, or whatever you want to call it or how you want to describe it, but randomly they just happen.

I remember when I was a kid my Babushka telling me a story of  this time when she heard of a story of the police were searching for a body(I think it was of a young girl but I don't remember) and she knew exactly where it was. She had some sort of vision and she knew exactly where it was, and it was in some remote area no one would think to look and I asked her why didn't she tell the police then and she said she was scared as they'd think she must have had something to do with it otherwise how else would she know where the body was and I guess that does makie sense, but her and I have always had that Thing, that Knowing  thing, and also get warnings ahead of time too of inpending danger, either in dreams, intuition, gut-feelings, or whatever and at times know things will happen ahead of time before they occur and I can sense my 21 YR old has some of that same gift in her as well. I like to think it's being blessed with the Holy Spirit.

Yesterday the Premier also announcer tougher new sanctions on us for the so-called worsening pandemic: now starting tomorrow the province is all under a State Of Emergency and are issued Stay-At-Home Orders meaning we can't even leave our own house  unless it's an emergency, to get groceries, go to medical appt's, or you are an "essential" worker, which is actually even worse  than a curfew because at least with a curfew you just can't be out past 8 pm but you can still the rest of the time but this way you're a prisoner in your own house all the time! What next? Armed guards and tanks roaming the streets,too? It also turned out the mystery woman that called the other day and I think is my hubby's mistress he says is a woman from the bridge club that needed him to go over to her house to fix her computer so he did last night for a few hours and it very well may  have been true...or just an excuse to go see his mistress....but the thing that hurts most( other than being rejected yet again) is that he was the only one that was ever interested in me my entire life (and the "best" I could do) and now even he doesn't want me anymore,either! My mother also agreed she doesn't think that he'd go 14 YRS without doing IT either and thinks he must be getting it somewhere, somehow, as well...

The 13 YR old also likes to mock my medical marijuana( just like they all do) saying I'm "addicted" and says I just stub my toe and go running for the weed to "fix the pain"...ha,ha....very "funny" but it is an excellent pain relief for arthritis pain, headaches, back and abdomenal pain, nausea, eliminated my daily migraines, and is excellent easing anxiety and helps sleep and it's natural and unlike other medication doesn't have any nasty side-effects, and the past 2 days my abdomenal pain is even worse than usual as well, and I feel like I have a "Part-time cold" too; for a few days a week I feel like I have a cold: all congested, achy ears, gunk in throat, headache,bad sinus, pressure, and I've had the bad hacking dry  Old Man Cough for months now,too, yet then it clears up and for 3-4 days it's gone and then for 3 more days or so it's back again and then for a few more days it's gone, and then it's back again, and then it's gone, and so on and on it goes...

My hubby also took the tomato soup I had put away separate and saved to make my Epic Meatball Stew on the weekend (I have all the ingredients put away separate in a bag so they don't get used for something else and then I don't have my ingredients I need for the stew) even though he knew  it was saved for that and I told  him it was; he didn't care; we had run out of tomato soup and he wanted some and so he just took that one and said he'd replace it by Saturday but what if he doesn't? What if he forgets or the store has run out or something and then I can't make the stew and none of us get dinner for the weekend because he was a selfish greedy pig and took the tomato soup that I need to make the stock base for the stew? I think it's more important all of us eat than one person does. He's just so selfish  and only ever thinks about himself all the time and last night the 26 YR old also badly burned 4 English muffins too and it smoked up the whole house and I told him off we can't afford to go wasting food like that and snarled at me to Stop bitching!  and called me an asshole  and sneered, Go away! Nobody wants you around!  and he's just like my mother, never taking responsibility for his actions and it's always my fault for mentioning it, and it hurts much more that the 17 YR old stopped loving me, threw me away, hates me, turned on me, and is cruel to me than that the 24 YR old also does because the 17 YR old and I used to be very close once, when she was younger, but the 24 YR old and I never really bonded. My toxic family has broken me and part of myself isd gone, snatched away and when I die I hope my last dying words will be something kind, or if not, at least something Marxist..

I have seen too much. This has stretched my mind beyond the limits of where it ought to go, something inside has snapped. The only defence mechanism I have against the urge to end the pain via suicide is to make the experience of suffering significant, mystical, ordained by God.