Yesterday we had another snowstorm yet again, likely close to another 20cm or so and again today and tomorrow we're supposed to get even more! Enough already! Somebody please make it stop! Mother Nature is a bitch! I took these photos yesterday of the freshly-fallen snow( and, in fact, while it was still snowing) and I think they turned out pretty amazing if I do say so myself and the contrast gives it a sort of black-and-white effect. I've always loved taking photos, just capturing the moment so later it can be a memory. Despite the storm yesterday and the snow blowing all around me in all directions there I still was though, outside in the blizzard hitting the bong(and it's unbelievably hard to keep that thing lit with all the snow and wind!) to relieve my abdomenal and back pain which is still hideously unspeakable, and it feels like there's a balloon or something in there too that keeps getting bigger and is going to burst, and I still have the bad cough and debilitating fatigue as well I have to nap 2-3 times a day so I basically sleep most of the day and always so short of breath too I'm gasping for air just going up a flight of stairs. I'm in baaad shape and Buddy's so worried about me too lately he sits up on my lap when I have breakfast every morning now and when I have my bath he'll come all the upstairs( despite his bad leg) and check on me just to make sure where I am and that I'm OK and then he goes back downstairs. He's my sweet little Buddy-Guard.
I also had this weird dream the other night my white dress got all covered in wet mud, I lost my new shoes and was barefoot and I had no idea where I was and that pretty much sums up how I feel in real life,too, and I noticed how unrealistic it is in TV shows, movies, commercials, etc. how there's never any clutter or mess in anyone's houses,either; there's never any piles of clothes or books or junk piled up anywhere or any crap thrown on the floor you have to step over or kick out the way so they either just "staged" it to look perfect like the realestate agents do when they're showing houses up for sale or else they don't have kids, or we're just real slobs? I'm disappointed and sad as well to find out one of my fave. blogs I read and have been reading for over 10 years now has ended; she just abruptly ended it and I really enjoy reading it and following the adventures of her family and I've watched them growing up and now it's just.....over, and I feel a sadness, a loss, sort of like when a TV show you love ends and there won't be any more new episodes to look forward to and you'll never know what happens to any of the characters anymore. It's sort of funny too how in my 20's and 30's I used to put on make-up and get all dressed-up in my nice skirts and shoes and jewellery, etc. and make sure everything matched just to go to the mall, for example, and here I am now, no make-up anymore and I go to Wal-Mart in just my sweat pants!
NOTE TO SELF:
You're ugly, face it, that's the truth, but you are a survivor, a warrior, you are kind, you are brave, you are strong, you have a good sense of humour and a good sense of right and wrong, you are loyal, you have a strong faith, and no matter how many times life kicks you down you keep getting back up again.
Art decorates space. Music decorates time.
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