Mushy.

Yesterday was the 14 YR old's birthday and I sent him a card with this little guy shown above as I mistakenly thought it was the guy pictured below, from the Nintendo Mario game. I thought it was called a Toad and I know his fave. is the red and white one with the dots on his hat but it turns out it's actually called a Mushroom (even though they look the same apparantly toads and mushrooms are completely different characters. Who knew?) and the one he likes has white dots(only he says they're called spots, not dots) on a red hat,and the other one has red spots on a white hat, even though to me (with my perception problem, most likely related to my Aspergers) I can't tell the difference and they look exactly the same. I get what he's saying  about the difference but I just can't see it and now I feel so badly that I sent him the wrong thing, and I feel so stupid too because I'm always screwing-up ,doing the wrong thing and failing; it's just the way I am and the way I've always been and I assume it's because of the autism(and related issues due to it, such as perception problem) and probably also because I'm just stupid but it always makes me feel so embarrassed, so ashamed, so dumb, so less-than, so inept, but surprisingly he was good about and just said he'll pretend he has a red hat with white spots  but I still can't help but feel so stupid and that I ruined his card by sending him the wrong one even though I thought it was his fave. character. It reminds me back in highschool my friend R ( who is Chinese) was failing math(just as I was) and he bemoaned to me I'm a disgrace to my people! and I told him not to feel bad; I was failing too but he said it's "not the same; White people are 'allowed' to be stupid."

Speaking of the 14 YR old, once the soon-to-be 18 YR old leaves for Vancouver I said he's going to have to pick up her chores once she's gone and take on more jobs( and all he has now is garbage and recycling but all the other kids always had more than 1 chore, so he's got it easy)

 being that he's always been entitled and spoiled by my mother and my hubby) and my mother(of course) balked at it and said NO WAY; he "does ' enough' already" (yeah....right) and she said that she'll do it instead, rather than to have her precious little prince have to do any work, which is just so ridiculous beyond belief and pampering him like that isn't doing him any favours either, and the other day I read somewhere that some 36 million  people have left Canada and emigrated to other countries and 36 million is just our population now, so that's half our entire population that's left but I can't say that it surprises me; this half-assed shithole always lagging behind the rest of the world and they were tired of the expensive high costs of living, and the Nanny State over-reaching gov't that intrudes and regulates every aspect of your lives, and people in "Third World" countries are generally happier too because it's NOT always about material things, but happiness comes from family, friends, a sense of community and connection.

Yesterday my hubby also did this really big shit and it overflowed the toilet; he's just soooo gross; he's like an animal and I saw someone posted online that they Miss Trump and a strong America  and I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants and I sat out on the front veranda smoking some dank-ass kush watching the rain and that's what peace feels like and today it's pouring rain, just torrential, almost like a monsoon and we even have a severe weather warning so I hope we don't end up flooded or something and poor Buddy got so drenched and soaked going out to pee this morning too he was just dripping wet when he came back inside and he didn't even want to pee; he just kept hiding under a bush! 

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

-Mark Twain