Surprised.....Yet Again.

I got yet another surprise yesterday always the last to know anything that apparantly everyone else has known for months( even the 13 YR old) but no one ever bothered to tell me about( even though I am the mother!) that I only even found out about myself as I just happened to have overheard my hubby and the 17 YR old talking yesterday in the next room and then I inquired about what I heard to make sure that it really was what I thought I heard ( and it turned out it was; I didn't "mis-hear" it,misunderstand, or imagine it):

The 17 YR old is leaving for Vancouver soon and will gone for 3-4 months!! 😢

At least. Maybe even longer.

She wants to go and visit 2 of her sisters who live there, esp. the 19 YR old who also happens to be her BFF (they're thisclose they're like twins!) and she's off school until at least the end of August so she's staying until then anyway, and only bought her airline ticket for one way and has her return ticket open-ended, so she can book a return for any time....if she's even going to, that is; what if she doesn't even want to come back?  I may never even see her again!  I just wan't prepared for this, and esp. not so soon. I mean, she will be turning 18 in early May and it was expected that she would leave eventually and be going off to school( supposed to be this year actually but now got post-poned until next YR thanks to the pandemic as she doesn't want to do school online but to get the full college experience and I can understand that, although when I went I never bothered with any of the extra activities and avoided Frosh Week all together which I thought was lame; I just went there, did my work, and came home) so I wasn't expecting her to actually leave until next YR and was mentally prepared for that but thought I still had another YR of her still at home with us and now I all of a sudden find out she'll be gone in just mere weeks! It's just alot for me to process, and she leaves end of April  first to visit the 24 YR old for a week and then goes off  from there. I have to say that I'm really going to miss her and this is going to be really hard on me, although I'm happy for her it is going to be really hard on me to see her go, and to no longer have her around. Even though she is the second-youngest and I'm used to kids growing up and moving out by now(and for the most part I'm excited for the peace and quiet) there's just something about her that I'm esp. going to miss in particular that is going to be extra hard to see go and to let go.

This morning taking Buddy out for his early walk I also saw this weird creepy-looking guy walking his 2 dogs a bit ahead of us on the sidewalk and at first I thought nothing of it; just some guy out walking his dogs just like I was, but then he just stopped and turned around and looked at us, rather stared, and he just stood  there, him and his dogs, one on either side, staring, like they were waiting for us to catch up, so I purposely lingered awhile longer with Buddy and let him snuffle around in the grass and sniff a bit longer than I normally would, just to keep an eye on the guy, to see if he'd eventually just keep walking and then we would continue on, except he didn't; he still just stood there, waiting for us, and it gave me a creepy "vibe", sensing danger, so Buddy and I just turned around from where we were and just went back inside, not even half the length of our normal walk, not wanting to get too close to where he was standing. It was creepy as f*ck!

I also saw one of the kids' colouringbooks in the hallways and it was titled Springtime  which made me laugh as it reminded me of my fave. hilarious  musical The Producers and that funny song Springtime For Hitler  and on the radio I heard an ad: What makes you proud to be Canadian?  and I replied, Nothing! The medical marijuana clinic called yesterday too asking if we could do a 'test-run" of the video conference call except my hubby was at work and I have no idea how to do any of that stuff; he's the one that has to set it all up; all I know is it has to be done on the laptop and Ihave use one of his because I usea dtop...oh,shit....so they said would I just prefer that the doctor phones me instead and even though with my Social Phobia I'm awkward and nervous and panic talking on the phone it's still no different than on the video conference call although it's actually better because at least this way they don't have to see my ugly face, plus my hubby won't have to get annoyed having to help me,either like he always does, like it's always such a big imposition. My cousin also saw her doc who said it'sjob stress causing her high BP and she's now on meds for.

Happiness isn't found in waiting for life's big happy moments; it's in finding joy in the small things along the way.