Re-posted from my old blog 3 YRS ago.
Some things never change....
Well Deserved.
My mother and the 16 YR old were being mean to me again and the 16 YR old was being even more of a bitchy mean girl than usual. When I asked my mother why her, my hubby,and the kids always gang up on me, blame me for everything, constantly belittle, berate, demean me and put me down, she smirked, It’s well deserved. Can you believe it? What kind of person says something like that? As for why they always blame everything on me she tersely replied, Because everything is always your fault! and she goes on to say that her and my hubby didn’t turn my kids against me but rather YOU did that yourself! Again, everything’s always my fault and I’m to blame for everything. It’s even my fault that they treat me like shit, as if I somehow deserve it, trying to somehow “justify” their cruel bullying treatment of me and then the 16 YR old goes on mouthing off at me being haughty and dismissive, heaping on the insults and being really disrespectful and nasty.
I’m so sick of all their shit. I’m sick of this family and I’m sick of this life.
Then later on the 11 YR old was teasing Buddy, making him bark, and he and I were curled up on the couch, him behind my legs and my eyes were closed, and my hubby came up to him and hurt him somehow, trying to get him to stop barking,and I don’t know exactly what he did, whether he pinched him or yanked up a piece of his skin or what, but he emitted a loud painful yelp like he’d been hurt(I know that sound) so I perked up and I saw he looked just heartbroken that he would do that to him and of course he denied it(he said, I just poked him….maybe I hurt his sore leg…) when I told him not to abuse my dog and he said I was falsely accusing him and he got really mad and was screaming loudly at me in a threatening way, and the 11 YR old said he did do something to him and then he bit him in response( good for him; defend yourself and don’t take any of their shit!) which he also denied, saying if he ever did bite him he’d be out the door and I told him if he ever did that he can kiss all his Spider-Man collectables goodbye as I would burn them all.Torch every single one of them. No one hurts my dog and gets away with it. Not only is he emotionally, mentally,and psychologically abusive to me but now he’s turning physically abusive to my dog as well. I hate the f*cker.
Him and my mother are always threatening me as well if I do or don’t do what they want, say, or like or what they tell me to do, or if I “get out of line” according to them, so to punish me and keep me under control they’ll threaten to open the door and let Buddy loose onto traffic, or to cancel my credit card, or to not fix my computer, or not drive me to my medical appointments, etc. They treat me like I’m one of the kids, making me hate and resent them more and more each day. I have no freedom, say or control over my own life and I feel trapped, like a prisoner or a hostage. My hubby said he was going to Wal-Mart as well and I told him I wanted to go too as I had to get shampoo and calamine lotion( for my sunburn) and he didn’t want me to tag along even though he was already going anyway and hardly even gave me enough time to change my pants as I was wearing pajama bottoms and I’m not going to be one of those People of Wal-Mart that wear their PJ’s, and he was already out the door before I even had my pants on and so I had to hurry and rush out before he drove off without me and I never even had time to put on any shoes so I just grabbed a pair of Crocs and put them on in the car.
I hate and resent always being treated second-class, like an after thought, as if I’m a burden(and they’re always telling me how “annoying” I am) unwanted, an inconvenience, last on the list of priorities, not important, sub-human, inferior, that I “deserve” the bullying and ill treatment I get daily, being blamed for everything all the time, like an outsider in my own family, always being pushed away, treated like a second-class citizen, feeling like a scapegoat and punching bag, being told to leave, reminded how stupid, annoying,and hated I am, being told to go die, etc.
This is not what I signed up for and I want out.I’m done.
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