Rebirth.

The buds are now on the trees now it's spring and it's been so warm lately( yesterday it was nice and warm like summer; I was even starting to sweat, it was 24 C and the 19 YR old in Vancouver always likes to brag and gloat about how much nicer the weather is there than here, how much warmer, esp. in the winter but it was only 9 C there yesterday so suck it! Ha ha!) and seeing the buds on trees and flowers  and everything starting to spring to new life got me thinking about how appropriate it would also be if I died in spring too as it symbolizes rebirth, renewal, reborn, a new beginning, new life, a new season, a fresh start, new life and hope after a long dark cold winter, and it's so symbolic and I can relate to in my own  life as well; my miserable unhappy life I just drudge thru each day is like the long dark winter, devoid of any sun, warmth,and light, but then when I die and I'm finally set free and released from this body, this family,this world,and this life and either go to Heaven or reincarnate into a new life I will be reborn in a way, and it will be a new start, a renewal, a rebirth and a new life, taking me out of the darkness and into the light, giving me a new hope, a new beginning, a new season. it's funny how my life and death is a metaphor to winter and spring.The end of one life is just the beginning of the next, transitioning from one season to another.

Yesterday laying outside in the yard on my recling lounge chair I almost fell asleep outside it was just so peaceful and that how I want to die,too; outside with the sun on my face,with my beloved Buddy beside me, smoking weed, listening to music and hopefully under a palm tree on the beach in Jamaica. That's my spiritual home and my Happy Place. It's also where I want both mine and Buddy's ashes scattered together, along the beach in Jamaica. Yesterday I also couldn't find Buddy but it ended up he was in the china cabinet! He had tracked a secent and followed it into the cabinet and found a mouse and just his tail was visible sticking out wagging a mile a minute! It reeked of hot melted tar yesterday outside all day as well so either the road or someone's driveway must have been being asphalted but I hate that smell so much and it gave me a headache and made my stomach hurt.

My new bedsheets also always "peel" off at 2 cormers on the same side and I wake up laying on a bare mattress on half the bed and I seriously have the worst luck with everything  and must be some sort of jinx or something and nothing ever goes right for me it's like I'm cursed and like my mother says If it weren't for BAD luck we wouldn't have any luck at all! I also want to order these bright orange Converse Chuck Taylor hi-tops shown in the photo here  as it's my fave. shoes( and I already have something like 5-6 pairs) I bet when I die they'll bury me in them and I don't have te $$$ but Mother's Day  is coming up so it can be my gift from my hubby and I LOVE the colour and when I was a little kid the bright orange hue always made me so happy and it started when I was 4 and one of my aunt's(we lived with them for 2 years) foster kids went on a vacation somewhere to USA and she brought me back a bright orange piggy bank and I just LOVED that thing and was just captivated by the colour and bright orange always brought me such joy and always brings me back to the memory of the piggy bank. If I get it every time I wear and look at the shoes it will bring me joy.

 When I told off the 26 YR old for a racist remark he made he also accused me of being Politically Correct  too which I'm NOT; PC is just whiny pussies that get offended by everything but racism on the other hand is just hate and it's wrong and it should be called out, and he said how the tip is the best part of a penis too and I said I agree and then he said that was "gross" even though he first said it and then he said that he was joking but I was serious, but when it comes to matters of the dick that shit is serious. I also read that half  the positive Corona virus cases in the UK are asymtomatic which means they don't even have any symptoms, so wow, a virus they claim is so "deadly" yet people aren't even aware that they have it. A few of my kids had it and it was just like the Flu and how many millions more people in Africa, say, die of malaria and Ebola yet the media never mentions that? It's nothing but fear-mongering , scare tactics, propaganda and social conditioning to make people comply, submit, and conform to all the draconian lockdowns, curfews, mandates, restrictions, etc. without question. Control the masses thru fear.

I was born under a wandering star. -Lee Marvin