The Pain.

Both yesterday and today I have really BAD stomach, abdomenal and back pain, soooo bad I break out into a sweat and feel all dizzy,nauseated, breathless, restless and like I'm going to pass out from the pain and at times my left shoulder also hurts and I get sharp twinges shooting in my chest as well.I wonder what we might have here; heart-attack looming or perhaps a nice Abdomenal Aortic Aneurysm? If I was a car I'd be an old broken down jalopy and need to go to the body shop for a complete overhaul. My back hurts so much too I can hardly even sit and certainly not comfortably at all; it feels like my spine is going to snap in two and it feels like my stomach is going to explode and it's so bad the pain woke me up at 5 am and I had to take a couple of hits off my vape pen to relieve the pain so I could go back to sleep. This is normally the severity of pain I'd probably go to the ER for but I've become so accustomed to chronic daily pain, so used  to it that it's hard to even gauge now the severity of it anymore and it hurts too much to be able to sit in the waiting room for hours and hours, plus I don't want them to say after all that it was just something like constipation or gas or something ( esp. since I do  have IBS and Divurticulitis) I'd feel so stupid! So, as always I just suffer thru, smoke weed to ease the pain, and wait it out and either it resolves on it's own or it kills me. One way or the other the pain will eventually be gone.

My friend T (in Ottawa) his wife just had a total knee replacement surgery and she's just in her 50's and I thought it was normally for really old people, like my now-dead uncle( who lived in Florida and lived well into his 90's) who got both knees replaced in his 80's, damaged from too much golfing! I also just discovered the other day that one of my Facebook  friends is deaf which I never knew. Not that it matters, makes any difference or changes anything; I was just surprised and if anything it just makes me admire his inner-strength (he's been thru alot) even more, and the 14 YR old also calls boobs Mommy Milkers  and there's just something extra special about Easter chocolate,too, it has this special taste that sets it apart,and above other chocolate and I should know too because I am a chocoholic!

We also have no forks at all in this house for some unknown and mysterious reason(did the kids hoard them in their rooms or throw them out, or what?); we are forkless. Maybe the forks ran away with the missing socks in the dryer like how the dish ran away with the spoon, and I did order my beloved shoes like I wanted afterall and the shipping was 17$(we always get ripped-off for shipping in this country, just like we do for everything) but I did have the option to pick it up at the store for free....except it's in BC and the airfare costs more than the shipping so I just paid the 17$ and grumbled about it and in honour of Prince Philip(who recently died) I smoked a Big Fatty and dedicated it to him in his memory. It's not hard to find a reason to smoke weed; you just have to look, and afterwards when I came back inside the 17 YR old groused, What's that gross smell? and my hubby snarked Your mother!  and he sprayed me with the room air deoderizer spray and the weed smell is sort of like my repellent; like a skunk, so people go away and leave me alone. HA! The roof guy's also supposed to be coming today to fix the hole but it's also supposed to rain all day, incl. thunderstorm, and rain all week,too, except for 1 day. That sucks!

You do not need anyone's permission to accept yourself the way you are.