For Mother's Day the oldest phoned me from Edmonton which was a nice surprise and the 23 YR old sent me an e-mail so out of my 11 kids only 2 acknowledged Mother's Day or bothered to send me well-wishes which as my friend C (in Ottawa) said is really sad that they never gave me anything, and I was kind of hoping at least to also hear from the 18 YR old, the 21 YR old and the 26 YR old, but I knew the others wouldn't because of the kind of people they are but I was at least hoping the others who I never had any issues with but nothing. I don't know why I even bother though; they're such ingrates.To make it even worse is what the 14 YR old said to me on Mother's Day too of all days; he screamed at me(just because I was singing) that I'm ugly, stupid, worthless,I don't "do anything around the house"( so I guess cooking and laundry doesn't count as anything and excuse me for having medical issues and not being able to do everything that I used to) I don't have any friends and no one likes me and I should just go and kill myself and he also threatened to kill Buddy and my friend B(in USA who is also a nurse) said it's awful the way the kids treat me and said that he has Obvious anger issues and needs to see a psychiatrist and be on medication and even said it's really concerning his behaviour and if he doesn't smarten up by the time he's 18 I should dis-own him. I agree he's disturbed but whenever I mention it my mother and my hubby just always accuse me of "picking" on him for saying so.
My friend in Brazil's little girl also turned 5 on Mother's Day and also the same day my second-youngest turned 18; they share the same birthday, and just 2 days after she arrived in Vancouver I heard on the news some crime lord was gunned down and killed in the Vancouver airport, the same one she was at! Holy shit, that was close!!I also heard hunk Jason Momoa is filiming in Toronto and is shooting a scene in a town nearby us too so maybe he'll be nearby and I'll see him around? OMG! I'd just die, that guy is just sooooo hot but I do wonder how the American film crew got here with the borders closed though? Yesterday and today I'm also really sweaty dizzy, have a headache, extra tired and time feels like it's moving slowly and abdomenal pain soooo bad too and it radiates to my chest and middle back. It's agonizing and I've had to smoke weed a couple of times a day for the past couple of days to handle the pain. Nothing else works.
I also saw the doctor yesterday who doubled my diuretic as my swelling(esp. in fingers and ankles) is worse again and he has suspicions I might have a pituitary tumour given I have so many of the symptoms so he ordered blood tests to check for it and I have to fast overnight for it and have it taken at 7 am and 3pm the same day and if the results are wonky he said he'll order an MRI. Maybe this is finally the answer we've been looking for the past 3 years causing all my symptoms and ailments all this time? It's very rare( but I am always the one to get the rare stuff) and hard to diagnose but I fit the profile....I also asked if he could put me on steroids for my Rheumatoid Arthritis as nothing else helps my baaad joint pain but he won't as he said I'd balloon out and gain at least 20 pounds he said I "can't afford to gain" (WTF Doc, you calling me fat?) and it would send my BP up even more, and said just to try Glucosamine Condroitin( and Tylenol but Tylenol doesn't do shit,it's like putting a Band-Aid on an amputated arm, I might as well just eat a candy) instead and if that doesn't work I guess I just have to keep on suffering...
It seems as well people that are on higher spiritual planes, on a different frequency have knowledge and understanding that is too complex for others to understand and so they just call them insane,crazy, etc. because they are incapable of comprehending it, and I heard Elon Musk has Asperger's too, just like I do and it certainly hasn't held him back; the guy's a genius, not to mention rich, but I never got any of the "perks" though, no genius here, and I'm not rich either; I just got the shitty part of it; just like with parenthood; I never got the benefits of it like fulfullment, joy, purpose, etc. I just got anxiety, fear, worry, stress, trauma, and regret. I always only ever get the short end of the stick in life. Growing up people always accused me of being aloof, stuck-up, a snob, etc.too when really I'm just introverted, withdrawn, socially awkward and prefer to keep to myself. Never assume. Things are often not as they appear. Always be kind.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone- Whitesnake.
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