Tree Boys.

Yesterday I saw 3 guys cutting down this huge tree in the neighbour across the street's backyard( the teacher; the creepy one I have always suspected for years has hostages in his basement but that's for another story) and one of the guys( I call Tree Boys) had climbed almost all the way up to the top of the tree! There's been lots of dead old rotting trees on our street lately that have had to be cut down(incl. our mulberry last year,too!) so there must be some sort of tree disease going around (or insects?) infecting them all? Tree Boy  also reminds me of when I was a kid and I had made up all these what I called Characters  that I used to pretend were my siblings and friends but I now know are what others call Imaginary Friends as I was a lonely Only Child and I must have invented close to 20 of them and one of them was named Tree Boy. There was also Tree Girl and Glen Boy and Glen Girl and the others had regular "normal" names, some of them named after real actual people I knew, such as Soula, Mackie, Janice, Alex, Benji and others I just made up such as Bianca, Priscilla, Nestor, etc. I even made  Mackie and nestor brother and sister and fraternal twins! Later on my own kids also had these puppets they'd always throw up into a tree and leave there(until they fell down and then they'd toss them back up again; they lived there) we called Tree Boys, loosely based on my old character. I even drew my characters and made comic strips out of them,too.

This morning out for Buddy's walk I saw a brown rabbit again(likely the same one?) and also the strangest thing,too: a crow chasing a squirrel, and tomorrow child #8 turns 22, the same age I  was when I had my first child, so that makes me feel really old and I had this scary nightmare last night as well that the 14 YR old purposely set the house on fire! I also had this massive headache yesterday too that woke me up and still didn't go away even after weed, which is new, and it was worse behind my eyes and at the base of my skull going down my neck vertebrae so maybe I really do  have a brain tumour,afterall, and my kidneys failing even more is actually good too as now I no longer have to go pee every5-10 minutes like I used to but now only a few times a day and can hold it for hours and hours and no longer have to get up at all during the night either but before it was 1-2 times! I hardly pee much at all now and it's great, and I'm pretty sure I had rotten yogurt yesterday as well; I put it in for a smoothie but in the cup it clumped but I still drank it anyway as we can't afford to waste food as it's so expensive and when I checked the ecpiry date it said last month,and last night in bed my stomach didn't feel so good....uh,oh.

People also keep asking me when we're opening up our pool and I'm embarrassed and don't know what to say because both my hubby and mother say it's too expensive to open it( around 2K a season for the chemicals ) and I'm the only one that even uses it and it's "not worth it" just for me so what am I supposed to tell them? I'm not sure either what's more embarrassing to admit, that we're poor now or that my family devalues me so much?  There also have been a few bear sightings in this area as well, as if I need reminding that we live in cottage country, and yesterday a few of my sunflowers are starting to sprout already too even though it's only been 3 days and it's supposed to take 10-14 days to germinate but I know what I saw and I know what they look like and one of them even had the shell stuck to it...

I also posted this photo of the 18 YR old and I( when she was just a week old) on my Facebook page for Throwback Thursday. I just love it and I was also shocked to see and to realize how much I've aged since then,too, how much fatter and older-looking I've got, likely due to both medical issues(which began 4 years later) and to trauma and stress.I can still remember when I got that haircut too and how my friend D(at the old church) kept raving about it how much she loved it. I also thought that Buddy went into the 18 YR old's room every morning because he missed her but it turns out it was just to bask in a sunbeam that came thru the window at that time every morning because today it's raining and there's no sun he went elsewhere and was hunting mice in another room this morning while I was upstairs having my bath instead, and it's sad for me to realize too that I feel much more alone and lonelier married and with my hubby than I ever did single or when I'm alone, and I'm such a dolt too trying to find photos to post on this blog yesterday once they get past a thousand as I have trouble with math and numbers and labelling them  I wasn't sure if a thousand and twelve for instance was 1012 or 100012 and I had a hard time finding them, and I still remember too when I was 4 my fave. toy was my little squishy blue rubber hippo and I still love hippos so I guess some things never change,and I hope when I die that I did some good in the world and made a difference for the better; that I made someone smile, made someone laugh, made someone's day, made someone feel good about themselves, made someone feel better about themselves, made someone think, made someone question, made someone find God, made someone heal, made someone forgive, made someone find peace, made someone have hope, made someone feel not so alone, made someone inspired, made someonenot give up, made someone smile and say That was my friend.

Beauty,youth,and time are all fleeting.