Hello Summer!

It's officially summer now and here are my sunflowers at 4 weeks old. It's hard to believe it's been a whole month already but they're growing nice and big and tall and doing well,some now starting to get taller than their enclosure, and yes, that actually is a plastic fork that you see there; I use them in the beginning stages to prop up and support the weak stems when they start falling over, sort of like a brace to encourage them to grow straight until the stems grow stronger.Today's one of those inside days too where it's so humid and also raining and we even have a severe thunderstorm warning with possible tornado risk (so I'll have to cover up my sunflowers with a lid for shelter) and the past 2 days it's been so hot and humid as well(78% humidity) I had to keep spraying myself with the hose to cool off while suntanning and the other day it was just too humid(The air that you wear) even in the shade the air was so 'thick" I had trouble breathing and  my chest was tight and burning and it felt like I was trying to breathe thru a straw and I had to come inside!

Yesterday there was also this cable/Internet van parked right outside our house for a long,long time with this guy sitting there and when I had Buddy out for a walk he kept watching us too and writing down notes and it gave me a "warning" on my "radar" esp. given my past and I got paranoid he was monitoring me and later on 2 official-looking guys dressed in black uniforms(but not police) with the flag on their sleeve showed-up at the neighbours next-door so maybe it had to do with that and they were staking out the area watching them but when doing survellience you observe the entire neighbourhood and look for anything unusual or out of place, but I wonder who they were though? I guessed maybe immigration/border patrol or something and my mother said maybe animal control, esp. since they always let their vicious Rotweiller (the one I call The Beast) run loose and it has charged at us a couple of times and I've seen it do it to other people,too, so maybe it's that...they're drug dealers too but it wasn't the RCMP. Also the only good thing about this country is at least we didn't have slavery.

Here is my sweet boy(and you can see the sore on his face that never heals because he keeps scratching it) and we haven't seen his Bitches  for about a week now and a couple of times I've even noticed they walk around a different way now and not down our street, as if they're avoiding us now  and my mother thinks maybe it's because the owner doesn't like Buddy always trying to hump his dog but I wonder if maybe he just thinks I'm weird(due to my Asperger's and bipolar) like everyone else always does and it hurts because for one thing I can't help it; it's not like it's something I can control and I have feelings,too and it hurts to always be excluded and to scare people away but what can he really say though; he reminds me of a short gay Fred Flinstone and he's greying and still lives with his mother.... I also saw my reflection the other day too and said to myself, You're so ugly; no wonder no one loves you except for your dog and God, and God loves everybody, even Hitler! and Buddy is the BEST thing to ever happen in my life too and having him come into my life is like walking thru garbage and finding a flower and he doesn't care that I'm ugly or stupid or fat, or that I'm crazy or autistic; he just loves me anyway, just the way I am, and he'll love me right to the end,too; he won't betray me or walk out on me, or give up on me or suddenly decide one day that he doesn't love me anymore. The other day I was starving so I cut a piece of the cheesecake as well and my mother yells at me admonishing I said NO, not until tomorrow! but I'm NOT one of the kids; I'm 54 YRS old and I don't have to do what she tells me(not anymore) and if I want to have a piece of cheesecake I'm going to have a piece of cheesecake and she can just f*ck all the way off!! She really has to control everything and everyone but I won't be controlled. My only boss is God.

I found this blossom off the neighbour's tree too and it smells sooo nice. There's hundreds of them all over the sidewalk and road and the entire street just smells soo good esp. after it rains and Saturday we video-called the 20 YR old in Vancouver for her birthday and I even missed my nap for it too(they're 3 HRS behind us time-wise) and I could tell she clearly wasn't too pleased to see that I was there and didn't want to really talk to me and was curt,aloof and abrupt and left me feeling unsettled and uneasy and it bothers me too she's always been a  shallow, vapid, ditzy Mean Girl that only cares about fashion, looks,and popularity (think 80's Valley Girls  and you get the idea) and doesn't like and even bullies, people that are fat, ugly, or unpopular, and that even incl. her own mother(that would be me) and she's NOT a "nice" person and she said her scholarship for this YR was revoked as well as someone found out she was homeschooled (even though she's also the top student in her class!) which is discrimination against homeschoolers so we should get the lawyers involved to hopefully be able to advocate for homeschoolers rights and get it back for her and maybe even set a legal precedent for other homeschoolers,too,and I found out she has 4 tattoos now,too(I only knew about the one) and most mothers would be shocked or upset but not me; I think it's cool and I'm impressed and I guess the kids do have some of me in them,afterall!

Yesterday my mother also meant to say Happy Father's Day  to my hubby but said Happy Birthday instead! She's really "losing" it! I say stuff like that all the time too with my White Matter Decline although my hubby always blames it on my weed(even though it started years before I even started my medical marijuana) and he doesn't know any of the kids' middle-names or their birthdays either and I can still remember them even when I'm stoned, and it blows my mind to realize that California(just one state!) has a higher population than this entire country does(yet not surprising, who wants to live in this shithole?) and the dumb Sheeple proudly posing with their vaccine Selfies boasting I got vaccinated today! what I see is brainwashed cultists saying I drank the Kool-Aid today!  and how come the Sheeple that have been vaccinated are so afraid of those of us that haven't(and still wear masks,too!) if they're so sure that their vaccines work so well and they're safe they have nothing to worry about, and I also bet the idiots that wear masks in their houses or in their cars are also the same morons that wear cycling helmets inside and condoms when they're alone in bed,too!😆

Going down the city sidewalk alone in the crowd No one knows the lonely one whose head's in the clouds. Dreamboat Annie-Heart