Ketchup Post.

Catching Up On Everything: 

- I had a nightmare the other night that Buddy is dying of cancer which I hope isn't actually really true; he is my heart and soul!

- The other day when I posted about medical procedures I hate I forgot one: the mammogram! Those things are awful, like torture devices; it's like squashing your poor titties in a tight fitting vice and it pinches and squeezes them really tight so much that it hurts and it's NOT a test I want to go thru again.

- I am sad to find out one of my fave. TV shows has been cancelled; Mom, and I didn't see it coming either which makes it even worse,and now I'll never know what happens; if Adam beats his cancer or if Jill has a baby boy or girl.....

- I heard they're calling for auditions for a show called Canada's Got Talent and I imagine that will be a really short show, probably something like one episode and only something like 2 or 3 contestants. HA!

- I got all excited for a couple of days thinking my neighbour got a nice new car but then his old one was back so I guess it was just in the shop and it was just a "loaner." I know, I have such a boring life.

- I had such a baaad pain yesterday and at the moment I realized it's possible that I might be dying my last moment's thought was this: Well, at least if I'm dying I won't have to cook Sunday dinner tomorrow....

- As for my SHITuation yesterday and today I was able to clinch off 2 small Tootsie Roll-size turds so at least that's a start. Now just a few thousand more left and I can finally get it all cleared out...

- I still cry when I think back to 4 years ago when the 18 YR old self-harmed. The thought of her hurting herself just destroyed  me and broke something deep down inside me I was never able to retore. That moment was the proverbial Straw that broke the camel's back; the final. last defining moment that just gutted me and finished me off for good that I was never able to recover from.

- Yesterday the entire nail just came off one of my baby toes and I also noticed a big brown mole on it and I wondered if maybe I could have a melanoma (skin cancer) on the nail like Bob Marley did? If so it would be an honour  to have the same kind of cancer that he did and I wouldn't mind getting it amputated though; my hubby always makes fun of it and calls it my Retarded Toe  and says it's ugly and it's one of 4 deformed toes I inherited from my mother's side and it always rubs on my shoes and hurts anyway so getting rid of it would be a bonus.

- Yesterday I was in the gourmet cheese section of Wal-Mart  and it suddenly struck me as ironic; ironic that I'd even be in a gourmet cheese section of Wal-Mart and that Wal-Mart would even have  a gourmet cheese section and then I just laughed out loud at the absurdity of it.

- My hubby wants me to cut his hair(the 18 YR old used to do it but she's in BC now) even though all he has to do is put a clipper on the hair shaver and run it over his head; it's easy and I do it myself every week but he's being a sucky big baby over it, being childish whining he does so 'much' for me etc. and I can't even do this 'one thing' for him....etc. but what's the big deal? Why can't he just do it himself? it's really NOT that hard,and as always he "twists" it all around to put the blame and "guilt" on me, except it doesn't work because I don't feel any "obligation" to him(he treats me like shit so I don't "owe" him anything!) and in my mind I already set myself "free" years ago.

Everyone has a weakness,and there's always a way; you just have to find it.