The Headache.

Yesterday I had this massive headache it was so bad I could hardly even move and it wasn't a migraine because I had those for years(before my medical marijuana 6-7 years ago which eliminated them, thank God, I was having them almost daily, with the longest and the worst lasting 32 days in a row)as I know what they feel like and this one felt different and in a different spot and a different way but it was still a bad one and even if anything just gently brushed across the top of my head it was agony and even the insides of my ears hurt, like it was "moving" down, and my neck was stiff and sore too, so  pretty much just slept most of the day (and popped Tylenol which did f*ck-all and even smoking weed just took the "edge" off and only lasted for a mere 2 HRS, that's how bad it was!) which helped and (so far,anyway, but it's still just morning and I just woke up a little while ago...) I still have a bit of 'residual" headache left today.....We also got lots of heavy torrential rain all day yesterday too which could be why but whatever the reason it was a bad one and it put me out of comission for the day. My mother is soooo lucky as she hardly ever gets headaches whereas I have always been so prone to them, all kinds of different ones and I can even tell by the different ways they feel which kind they are,too; migraine, sinus, cold, drop in air pressure before it rains, stress,hunger, tiredness,PMS, high BP, etc. and the 22 YR old is the same, and she's the most like me of all the kids,too; she also loves writing and art, is a chocoholic like me, and names her plants like I do as well, and also like me is able to tell ahead of time(by dreams and feelings,etc) things are going to happen and has warnings of danger(my Babushka was also the same; there seems to be one of "us" in every generation).

Speaking of the 22 YR old, I listen to her podcasts which she does regularly as well which in itself is unusual as I generally don't even like podcasts as all they do is talk, talk, talk and I don't want to keep hearing people yakking all the time. it's just soooo boring; I want to listen to music, and my hubby listens to those podcast things all the time and it's sooo annoying but it's hers so I tried it out and she has so many adventures and unusual things happen to her it's actually interesting, but I would still prefer to read, a blog, for example, beccause I love reading much more, and at least that's a good thing and a blessing about me being ugly,too(unlike her, being pretty) is at least unlike her I have never had someone stalk me, follow me in their car, or try to break into my apt, being enamored with me. I never even get cat-called by construction workers!Being ugly is a sort of "defence" shield in a way and keeps me safe! 😂

I also saw the name of a graphic street artist was Pum Pum and that just cracked me up and made me laugh as that's Jamaican slang for vagina and I wonder how many other people are even aware of it, just like with my screen-name Pogue Mahone which I got when I was in Dublin and is Irish Gaelic for Kiss my arse! and I also joked the university for me would be Wassamatter U, and my computer mouse is crazy as well and keeps zipping and zooming moving all over the screen and I can never find it, esp. a white arrow on a mostly white screen; it makes this ding! sound and I move it all over trying to find it but it's always hiding and it gets me soooo mad and takes forever to find; it's like Where's Waldo? and last night my hubby brought back snacks for everyone except me as well, and they're all making a big deal for my mother's upcoming 80th birthday on Sunday too but no one ever makes a big deal over my milestones or achievements though and never have; it's like I don't matter and no one cares; for my 50th birthday, for example, all I got was the usual cake and a card from the Dollar Store, but nothing special and not even a mention of it being  my 50th; it was just like any other birthday(and my mother told me You should just be grateful that you even got a card!), yet when my mother turned 50 I remember I hired a limo to take her and her BFF to a fancy restaurant and I also hired a company to put 50 tacky pink plastic flamingoes all over the lawn during the night with a massive HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY!! sign on it for when she woke up the morning of her birthday, but for me.....nothing. Even when I turned 18 and 21 there was no big deal, nothing special yet when my girls turned 18 and 21 my mother bought them gold jewellery....it just really hurts being made to feel "less-than", excluded, like I don't matter, that no one cares about my milestones or achievements, that they're not worth celebrating or acknowledging.I'm always overlooked and excluded and then they wonder why I get so upset and don't feel like I belong in my own family.

Doing things wrong is my way of doing things right. "Born To Be Bad"-George Thorogood.