The Mug.

Yesterday I got royally chewed-out and bawled-out by the 26 YR old when he saw me soaking part of my bong in this mug, seen here. I had it filled with half-each water and vinegar solution and I was soaking it to get all the sooty black tarry gunk off it and then later I scrub with a Q-Tip  because it gets all clogged, and he was furious saying that it was his coffee mug only I never knew; I just saw a mug in the cupboard there among others and I grabbed it. It was an honest mistake and now he's making me feel like total and utter shit over it, droning on and on like a broken record, really hammering it into me and he says I'm "selfish.". I know he has a fave mug, the one that says Good Vibes  on it so I purposely didn't use that one but I didn't know he had another one,too, and if it was so important that no one else uses it then why didn't he have it up safe on his shelf? So now he says I ruined it for good even though after it goes thru the dishwasher and gets a good wash and dis-infected it will be perfectly fine and as good as new now he's over-reacting and sulking saying it's ruined and he can never use it again,etc.and saying it's all my fault when it's NOT even ruined; it just needs to be cleaned and then it'll be perfectly fine but he won't let it go and he insists that I buy him a new one, that costs 25$ but it's not like I broke it or something and it really was ruined and had to be replaced; I soaked it in soapy water and then thru the dishwasher and it's fine, and it hurts me because it really was an honest mistake; I had no idea it was his, and now he hates me and berates me and acts like I ruined it when in actual fact it's perfectly fine. It just always seem that I can never do anything right and I'm always screwing up, making mistakes, getting everyone mad at me, messing up, doing the wrong thing, things going wrong, getting taken the wrong way, being misundertood, upsetting people, angering people, making mistakes, getting things wrong, etc. and people are also always so quick to jump on me for all my mistakes, mis-steps and foibles,too, and I'm constantly being told, belittled and admonished for and being reminded of my inadequacies and what a failure and reject I am and how I can never do anything right and am never good enough and it really hurts. No matter what I do I always screw up and people always get mad and hate me.

Yesterday both Buddy and I were sick,too; he barfed twice and my stomach hurt and felt nauseated all day so it must have been either something "bad" we both ate or else we're both being poisoned, and today I have this horrific headache too so maybe we're getting a heavy rain, (when the air pressure drops before rain I get headaches, my head is a barometer)  and I heard now too the Australian gov't is now refusing  to give gov't welfare benefits to people if they're NOT vaccinated with the COVID vaccine and that's blackmail as well as tyrannical oppression! WTF? I also had to wake up the 14 YR old this morning too because he didn't put out the garbage on the curb last night as my mother told him not to (saying we didn't have any, even though we do) even though I told him too, to collect it all and together we'd have 1-2 bags to put out and  my hubby curtly snarked (when I said that *She's* NOT the 'boss' ) She helps out! implying that I don't, so this morning just before I put a load of laundry thru I reminded him, I'm doing laundry now, even though yout think only--------- helps out!  and he said some mean comment he muttered under his breah, but I'm tired of always being treated like shit by my family, like I don't matter, and how quickly they forget all the things that I used to do and that I did do, all on my own(all cooking, cleaning, homeschooling, childcare...) while they were working before, before my medical issues hit and now they just hassle me for what I can no longer do but some 25 YRS or so of all that doesn't matter or seem to "count" anymore; they just see that I can't do what I used to anymore and think I'm useless and lazy now.

“Rejected, ejected, dejected, used, accused, abused.”-Eartha Kitt.(describing her life...and mine.)