The Sad Lonely Girl.

The sad lonely girl just wants to be loved.

To be accepted.

To fit in.

To belong.

To be good enough.

To be validated.

I still do.

Yesterday my mother also told me that she wants access to my bank account again(I recently stopped it when I found out she had been stealing my $$$ that I had "left over" after paying the bills I didn't even know I had, and here I always thought I never had any $$$ left for my own needs and expenses and here she was "finding""extra" $$$$ that ended up being mine) as now the second-youngest turned 18 my income has now dropped to half and I can no longer pay all the bills by myself anymore and she says if I don't contribute I can't live here but I won't give her or anyone access to my account anymore after that, and I told her I'll just write her out a cheque for the amount of the bills; that she shows me the bills and I see with my own eyes the amount and I'll write her a cheque and then she says each cheque costs 4$ and I tell her she can pay it then since she's the one that wants the $$$ and she refused and said I have to pick up the cost but no way;if she wants the $$$ it's her problem and she's the one that stole from me remember, and then she threatened to cancel my credit card if I don't give her access to my account and I need it as ordering online that's all they take(incl. my medical marijuana) and if they're banning non-vaccinated people from going into stores I'll only be able to shop online, and it hurts too that the 26 YR old doesn't contribute in any way( financially or around the house; he just buys his own food) yet she doesn't threaten to kick him out yet is so eager to toss me  out onto the street, even though it's not my fault I now have less $$$ and she forgets too that for over 25 years I did it all myself( cooking, housework, childcare, homeschooling,etc.) while she and my hubby were at work, but they're all so easily to forget everything that I used to do before my medical ailments started and only dwell on what I am no longer able to do anymore now. I plan on going on disabilty but what if they reject it and I have NO income at all? I'll end up homeless! (and even if I can't contribute financially I still contribute by cooking, doing laundry,etc.) I just hope and pray that I die first, before  my $$$$ runs out and then they can also use my life insurance $$$ ( 250K) and I won't have to worry about kicked to the curb. It's sad too that I'm worth more to them dead than I am alive. 😢

Facebook also deleted this meme here that I posted, saying it was false, incorrect, mis-leading, etc. about COVID and the vaccine, censoring again like they often do, not wanting the real truth to get out, and when they censor differing opinions and suppressing the truth you know it's a sure sign of tyranny so I just keep re-posting it and luckily the premier said he DOESN'T believe in mandating vaccines or issuing vaccine "passports" so finally someone  with a brain that doesn't go along with all this shit( watch him  end up assassinated now,too or something....) and a neighbour walked by the other day as I was sitting out on the front veranda and he proudly announced he got his second shot so now he can visit his grandkids in Quebec and I was thinking to myself, I bet he'll be sorry....and this morning I saw another of the new neighbours and she was older, probably my age, so maybe the others were just her kids, then, the ones in their 20's, and they have another dog,too as well as the husky, a big black one named Bella who is 15 like Buddy! The other day I also heard this strange squawking sound I thought must have been some sort of bird I didn't recognize but then realzied it was a baby; a neighbour was walking past our house pushing his baby in a stroller, so that must have really been some good weed, and I was wondering as well why squirrels have such tiny dicks but such big balls, and I wouldn't be surprised if none of my boys ever get married either because in all honesty most women today are bitches or ho's, and we had a storm last night and Barrie even got a tornado,(my cousin's ex-wife and my friend P live there but luckily they're both OK) like they did in 1985 and I remember it,too as we lived in a town close to it at the time and I was home alone after school and it was 3pm and the sky turned black as Midnight and the rain was going sideways and the wind so strong trees were bending down touching the ground and at the time I never knew what it was but I knew something was really wrong and I instinctively hid in the bathroom, the only room without windows, and within 5-10 minutes it cleared out and the sun came back out and we heard on the news there was a tornado nearby!

Update on my friend's son: he's on life support. I can't even imagine.😢

Your greatest accomplishment each day is deciding not to commit suicide.- Albert Camus