Self-Reflection.

I realized I'm basically a nose-picking, farting, belching, ass-scratching, foul-mouthed, dirty-minded, pot smoking, music loving rebellious 15 YR old boy in the body of a middle-aged woman! 😂HA! That's probably why I get along best with my adult boys the most out of all of my kids because we can make raunchy jokes and when they swear and are rude and tell dirty jokes I laugh along with them and think it's funny (and don't get offended) because I have the same sense of humour and probably why I also always had alot of guy friends growing up as well and was always seen as "one of the guys." I remember being told I "should be more 'feminine'" as well which is sort of funny though too because at the same time I also always liked girly frilly things too like pink and purple, Hello Kitty (I had a whole collection as a teen!) sparkly glittery stuff, sequins, skirts, jewellery,shoes, accessories, decorative items, etc. I just like to wear my hair short and have a twisted sense of humour, but I can also equally fit in at a fancy upscale party,too,in a fancy evening gown, make-up and wearing my Hooker Shoes. I'm like a chameleon able to adapt to my situation , but my true nature  is a I-don't-give-a-shit-what-you-think I'll just be me sort of attitude and if I want to suntan topless I will,and if I like something even if no one else does then so be it. I don't follow the crowd or go along with what's "popular",and if I or my opinion offends you then that's just too bad; that's your problem,not mine. I think for myself and I say what I think and I tell it like it is. Basically, what you see is what you get.But at least this is the real deal.Take it or leave it.

My Facebook friend's husband's death notice is also already up as well and he was only 56 (that's just 2 YRS older than me!)  and my cousin on the kidney transplant list he said what caused his kidney failure wasn't his diabetes like I thought but rather a side-effect of a medication he was taking for his diabetes his doctor told him was "safe" and it caused his kidney failure, and that's one of the reasons he doesn't want to get the COVID vaccine as he has a bad history of side-effects(and who can blame him?) just like another of my cousins(his aunt,actually) who had a bad reaction to the Flu shot and had to go for IV infusions every week for over a YEAR due to adverse side-effects. and now I've been blacklisted and basically deemed a dirty contagious plague rat by being unvaccinated( I prefer to use the term organic  and others say pure blooded) and can no longer even fly within this country I won't even be able to attend my own kids' weddings should any of them ever decide to get married some day either since they all live out of town/province that requires plane or train travel and you need to show the vaccine passort for both. This truly has become a Fascist totalitarian Police State! It's like Nazi Germany, the Gestapo demanding citizens Show me your papers! next they'll be herding us unvaccinated off into cattle-cars to the camps to be exterminated.I refuse to live under such tyranny though and I will take my own life first.

I also took my first photo yesterday( of Buddy of course) with my new iPod and when I uploaded it onto my piece-of-shit computer it still turned out grainy and fuzzy and disappeared after a few seconds off the screen so it is  the shitty computer afterall(like I had always said but my hubby never believed me,like he never does) and NOT the device, and my mother spent 6 HRS straight yesterday watching TV too and she thinks that *I* don't have a life(and I only have 3 TV shows in total I watch all week, as well as the news she has something like 10 or 12!) and she whines the 14 YR old is a "slave" too as he has "alot" of chores being the only kid left at home now the others have all moved out even though I reminded her that all the others had their turn too when they lived here and now it's his turn but she doesn't want her precious little prince to ever have to lift a finger and do any work(and she'll even do it for him so he doesn't have to he's so papmered) and she never complained or cared when the others had to do their share, just now when he does, and whenever she needs help for anything it's because she's just old but whenever I need help I'm just fat,lazy, stupid,entitled,don't know how to do anything myself, am useless, etc. and Buddy kept barking yesterday as well and I looked up and there was a squirrel looking in the window and he hasn't been eating much the past few days either and it worries me he's not well and may be declining in his old age. He's my whole world!

Things are often not as they appear.