Bend For A Friend: Afterthoughts.

Yesterday I was still drugged-up and "foggy" after my colonoscopy I didn't really remember all the details at the time and today my head is a bit clearer so I remembered more: the nurse actually asked if there was any chance I could be prego and I laughed and said Ha! Good one! You do know that I'm 54 years old,right? and she said that it's "still possible" and I told her, No, I know for sure it's NOT; I don't have a uterus anymore! The anesthesia doc also asked me,Do you smoke? and I replied, Smoke what? NOT tobacco!! and luckily as I was laying on the table prepped to go to sleep they gave me nose prongs for oxygen so I was finally able to breathe under my stupid mask and surprisingly they never did ask if I had the vaccine; they just asked if I've been tested for COVID, and apparantly when I woke up I was speaking German! I remember too one of my aunts in Europe had her colonoscopy she wasn't even put to sleep either and was awake  the entire time! Ugh! The only way I even consent  to it is because I'm asleep the whole time and I'm NOT feeling it,otherwise no way! I also wonder what they thought about my tattooed ass? They removed the polyp as well and sent it off to pathology to check for cancer. Someone also liked the gold shoes I was wearing and I told her My son got them in Hollywood and she had this incredulous look and I told her, yeah, Hollywood....you know, in California...but I got the impression that she was a poor redneck that probably has never left this town in her entire life  and has never travelled anywhere and that's just so incredibly sad, and I saw a Little Person (formerly called a dwarf)coming out of the hospital door as I was waiting for my hubby to pick me up as well and that same lady goes, Oh, look! A midget!  and I said to her, Oh, you mean a Little Person! and someone else liked my purple sequin backpack and another guy liked my Rolling Stones shirt,too! I guess I was really stylin'! 👍

These are also our outdoor Christmas lights and I bet you can even see them from space! I have alot of gas today as well left-over from yesterday too but farting is still waaay better than shitting, and only in Canada: at the drive-thru at Harvey's they have the credit card machine taped to a hockey stick  and they extend it out their little window to the driver's side window so you can pay which is actually pretty smart but still redneck at the same time, and and my hubby was telling me this story about how the 20 YR old ...had to move a body at work... and I freaked out, What kind of place is she working at?  and wondered wouldn't the police  or the coroner be the ones to remove the body; why would she have to, and then he said it was the body....of a mouse, and he said his youngest brother's first ex-wife is having her 50th birthday party and she's even have a live band,and all *I* got for my 50th was a lousy card; no one made any big deal over it and my mother said Well, they didn't for mine,either; what did I get?  when I "only" hired a limo for HER 50th to take her and her BF to a restaurant and also hired a company to put 50 tacky pink flamingos all over the lawn during the night...but I guess to her that's "nothing".

Technology also hates me and I can never set the oven for longer than 60 minutes and yesterday I tried to set it for 70 minutes for the meatloaf but it ended up being 7 minutes so my mother pushes me aside and gruffs, YOU don't know how to do it! Here, I know how! so she sets it....and ended up setting it for 7 hours! We're both dumb( where do you think I got it from?) and Die Hard  is NOT a "Christmas" movie,either; it's an action film that just happens to take place  during Christmas and if it was a "Christmas" movie it would be titled A Die Hard Christmas  or something, and this week for Black Friday and next for Cyber Monday I'm going to save even more $$$$$ too by NOT  shopping at all, and I am disappointed to hear the oldest has defaulted on his student loan as well so now my hubby is stuck paying it because he co-signed and that's not right; it's his loan and his responsibility and he's an adult and has a job; it's not fair he sticks my hubby with it, and besides, he has other kids as well he has educations to pay for,too, and it's really irresponsible and just plain wrong and it deeply disappoints me that he's that person.

I don't need permission. I just DO.