The Flocked Tree.

I have always wanted a flocked Christmas tree my whole life and now I finally just went ahead and got one myself at long last, tired of waiting. I just did it. I ordered it online yesterday(shown here, 6 feet tall). I really wanted one that had clear lights already built-in except they started at 300$ and went up way out of my price range so I got this and will just get the lights separate for much less and the end result will still be the same. I'll decorate it in a silver and gold theme,too,tinsel and ornaments, and it will be the prettiest tree ever. I was so happy and excited a dream is finally coming true and look forward to its arrival and when I informed my hubby he just has to go look for the lights he got all grumpy and snarled that he won't be assembling it; that I have to do it all myself even though he knows I can't assemble things for shit( like that time back in the 80's my mother and I tried to assemble a bookshelf and it took us all weekend and it ended up backwards) and is it really too "much" to ask that he at least puts it up for me,(and it will take him,what, 15 minutes or so?) esp. since I did pay for it(he didn't even have to do that?)and it comes in 3 easy put-together pieces,too,(plus the metal stand) not like back in the 70's when each branch had to be individually attached to a hole on the pole! He always seems to find a way to try and ruin my joy but I refuse to allow  him to take this away from me! One of the neighbours still has their Christmas wreath up on their door too from last  Christmas they never did take down so at this point they might as well just leave it there for Christmas this year, and on Satan's Day  the other day I almost forgot what day it was and almost answered the door,too, but then I remembered just in time and it was my cousin's birthday,too(she turned 48) od all days but at least in Europe they don't really celebrate it like they do here though.

I also heard on the news a Toronto-area highschool teacher wore blackface to school as a so-called "costume", showing again what a racist shithole country this truly is, and there's this phone scam going around threatening people to send them Bitcoin or gift certificates or else they'll get deported but for me that would be doing me a favour; yes! deport me please! and now it seems that more vaccinated people are the ones getting COVID (and even dying) more often than the non-vaxxed so maybe now it's the unvaxxed that should be wary of them now and not the other way around? There's also some 200 world leaders at some scam climate summit and it makes me wonder if they can all get together for some stupid enviro crap thing why can't they also get together for priority issues too like world peace and ending war and world hunger and poverty,too? People before planet! The purple thing on my leg is almost healed up now and I can see a scar and tell what it was: a ruptured varicose vein and the vertebrae on the back of my neck hurt so much too I had to pour melted wax on it and the back and abdomenal pain is still really bad like usual as well as stomach pain, like I got kicked by a horse so I hope the colonoscopy shows an answer and that has to be one of the worst jobs in the world,too; can you just imagine shoving hoses up people's asses all day?

After smoking weed I also heard Tom Petty's Free Falling as Tree Falling  and it kept cracking me up and I thought it was just the funniest thing ever; Tree falling, I'm a tree falling...and when I put Buddy out in the backyard to go pee yesterday I saw a brown rabbit hopping around in the yard, and my mother didn't "like" the way I threw the garbage out the other night and she took it out of the garbage can and put it back on my place-setting on the kitchen table and it's petty, vindictive, mean, spiteful things like this  that she always does why I think she's such a bitch, and yesterday when I reminded the 14 YR old to get something to eat(I worry he's too thin and hope he doesn't have an eating disorder too like the 18 YR old did when she was 14) he yelled at me to shut up and kill myself! Teenagers are just awful  and I wish I could just sell him on eBay! (the modern-day version of selling them to the Gypsies) I also saw someone describe someone as eating like a starved pig and if that doesn't also describe my appetite too I don't know what does, and I'm more "masculine" and have more "balls" than my hubby does too so I don't know if that says worse about him...or about me?

I can still remember one the happiest days of my life as well: I was in grade 2 at the park(and I think it was fall and I was wearing my quilted purple jacket) and at the park and I saw literally hundreds of Monarch butterflies flying all around they filled the sky and it was so beautiful it was just almost magical it was breathtaking, and last night my hubby and the 27 YR old went to a new chess club and they were warned of this guy with a 2100 rating how he'd kick their ass etc. but my hubby beat him at every game; this old guy who hasn't played in 20 years just walks in, sits down, and blows them all away. HA! His rating was 2300 or so back in the day and he was one of the highest-rated in the province.I also saw someone refer to a chess GM as a baller too which made me laugh and I will never see the term baller the same way again, and as a kid I hoped I would be like the Ugly Duckling and would evolve into the Beautiful Swan eventually but sometimes you just stay  the Ugly Duckling and I was surprised to find out too that even the 22 YR old( who is pretty!) got bullied at camp(for her teeth! even though out of all of our kids she has one of the better teeth) and it stuck with her into adulthood( like bullying always does) and made her so self-conscious about her teeth that as an adult she's spending thousands of $$$ to have it fixed. It's sad but I 'get" it; bullying never goes "away" and it stays with you for life and deeply affects your self-esteem and how you feel about yourself for the rest of your life and is the main reason I have NO self-esteem and hate myself and have zero self confidence and triggered the depression and suicide attempts and being ugly I had it constantly. For me it's just a way of life, not just a couple of mean comments here and there. It destroys you.

"The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities." Ayn Rand