Yesterday.

Yesterday was both a good day and a bad day. I had cramps and was still really tired and thirsty following my colonoscopy and I slept for something for 5 HRS during the day and it's disappointing they never found anything fixable, meaning I have to just suffer in chronic daily pain every day for the rest of my life until I finally die and Tylenol damages my already failing liver yet Aleve is bad for my colon, so I have to decide which one I'm willing to sacrifice in an effort for some pain relief; my liver or my colon, but the good  thing is I got a surprise early Christmas gift in the mail: an obver 200$ cheque as a settlement from a class-action lawsuit against my gov't approved medical marijuana company( I guess that's why they changed their name?) as apparantly they had put some chemical into the product but free $$$$ is always welcome, even more so this time of year, and to me 200$ is alot of $$$$! I also looked at our Ho! Ho! Ho! outdoor Christmas lights from the other side and it said Oh! Oh! Oh!  and after smoking weed I re-did that Trooper  song where they go ...and Jerry is a garbage MAN... to ...and Jerry is a garbage CAN! I can invent the funniest song lyrics after weed. I wonder if that's how Weird Al  does it? I also wonder: what a "coincidence"  too now they're pushing kids' vaccines that all of a sudden a new "variant" has come out of nowhere and all of a sudden daily cases of "COVID"  have now spiked to over 900 a day.....hmmm......really? I think just scaring parents into getting the Mark Of The Beast  for their kids and setting us up for another upcoming lockdown again...

The bad thing is my hubby falsely accused me of something I didn't do and I'm tired of always being blamed for everything all the time and then when I got mad he yelled at and berated me for being  upset and said I was being snotty  and he stomped off and refused to help me with my computer and my mother agreed with him and said it was my fault, as if I don't even have the right  to be upset, and she snarked, You said it, now shut-up! I don't want to hear about it anymore! You always repeat yourself!  and I told her, That's because no one ever listens to me!!(plus it's also an autism thing) but they think they can demean me and mistreat me any way they want but when I get upset and speak up it's MY fault? That's why I hate my toxic family. Other than my dog no one would even care whether or not I lived or died. I'm just so tired  of everything; tired of how my family treats me, tired of being in pain every day, tired of being "grounded" and not allowed to travel anymore or even allowed in a restaurant. I'm just tired. Later on my hubby did the exact same thing with my computer that he had told me to do, step-by-step(that didn't work for me) and of course it worked out for him first try in just a few minutes, but not for me. I'm a jinx. Things just don't  ever work for me. I really think I must be cursed.

I seriously hate my life.

A sane person to an insane society must appear insane.- Kurt Vonnegut.