Yesterday while the 27 YR old was at work I found this on the floor next to his stuff and I just about had a friggin' heart-attack! WTF, the sneaky little bugger went out and got The Mark of The Beast? I mean he's an adult now and there's really nothing I can do about it other than tell him how stupid he is and how he's going to regret it and likely be dead within 5 years and how utterly disappointed I am in him and how he has alot of explaining to do, so when he got home I asked him and thank God(unless he's just lying to cover his ass) he said he just got it from a friend who got the vaccine and tried to used it to get into jiu-jitsu(that requires the pass) but it didn't work but thankfully in the meantime they don't care anymore anyway so he can still go. Oh, what a relief! At dinner time last night the 22 and 25 YR olds and their BF's also arrived but they all just went right upstairs without even saying hello to me and I still haven't seen them yet as they're still sleeping and not only that but they never even bothered to open their Christmas gifts or stockings either or eat the Christmas dinner we had saved for them,either,so it's a good thing that we didn't actually post-pone Christmas itself like my mother was originally going to do until they arrived or it would have been ruined. It's like I always say; DON'T ever depend on other people or you'll always end up disappointed; just do your thing and either they show up or they don't. It was rude though and I couldn't help but feel miffed even though I told myself ahead of time that I wouldn't let anything they say or did or no matter how inappropriately the girls were dressed "get" to me, that I would just ignore it and keep any negative thoughts or comments to myself.
The plan is to wait for the 20 YR old when she's free today to join in via video chat for the gift opening, so that's 2 days after Christmas, and I don't know who made them decide that exactly when it's our house and they're the guests but it's always been like that; the kids decide on something and my hubby always goes along with it; it's like they are the parents and we defer to them, and when I mentioned to my mother how the 25 YR old always gives gifts to everyone except me she asked if I give her one(as always turning it around onto me, making me at fault and blaming me) and I always used to but finally after years of her shit I decided f*ck it; if she treats me like this I'm not 'playing nice' anymore; f*ck her! and last year the 18 YR old never gave me anything either and maybe this year none of them will,who knows, and I dedicated my life to raising and homeschooling them but once they grew up and didn't need me any more and had no more use for me they just threw me away,and my mother also excused her as She does her own thing, just like you do except I don't purposely exclude people and be mean like that, I'm just a free spirit and don't go along with the crowd. Now we have company over I also have to remember to close the bathroom door when I'm in there,too, and I wouldn't be surprised if this is the last Christmas for both Buddy and I either.
I also got another Facebook ban, this time for 90 days, they put my posts lower on the news feed for posting "false information", this time for saying that the COVID vaccines aren't effective, even though they aren't, otherwise why are fully-vaccinated people STILL getting COVID and I heard as well on the train to Montreal vaccinated passengers actually had to wear yellow stickers on their lapel to show they've been vaccinated, eerily similar to the yellow stars Jews had to wear in Nazi Germany(I kid you not) and around 5 pm Christmas I was out the back smoking weed and a neighbour saw me out there and I can just imagine him thinking I must have to toke up in order to be able handling having Christmas dinner with my family and we ran out of milk too which we need to make the mashed potatoes but luckily the corner store was still open so Christmas dinner was saved, and I think it's creepy and weird too how my mother even puts stockings out and gives gifts to the girls' BF's too when they're not her grandchildren or even part of our family and BF's(like GF's) come and go and I just think it's kind of weird, and I bet too if I was ever taken hostage my family would actually pay the kidnappers to keep me, and Buddy was upset when I was in the bath and he couldn't find me( as he always follows me around everywhere and is by my side and always has to know where I am) as he couldn't track the scent when I was in the water, and my friend D(from grade 6) and his GF also posted COVID tests on their Facebook on Christmas and someone joked Are you guys pregnant? even though they're in their 50's and my prego FB friend has a fibroid over her cervix too and needs a cesarian so the lucky girl gets to totally bypass the torture of labour entirely!
A psychologist also said to be happy and stable you need to have 3 things in life: autonomy and a sense of control over your life, a feeling of accomplishment, and a connection to other people and I assume she meant all 3 and I don't have any of them, not even 1 or 2, so no wonder I'm such a mess and in such bad shape, and I saw these guys have the surnames Butt, Asser, and Assman too and it's the funniest thing ever! I'm sorry for laughing but can you just imagine having those last names?
I'm tired of always getting excited or looking forward to something and just always getting disappointed.
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