Holy shit is it ever COLD out today! You know it's cold too when you live in the frozen tundra known as Canada and they still give you extreme cold warnings, like the one here I got on my computer this morning! Cold even for Canada! That's how you really know it's cold! I think the bears have the right idea about hibernating all winter!!Today it's going to -28 C with a wind chill of - 30C something. Holy shit! My God, that's cold!! They do have warming shelters for the homeless but alot of them choose to stay outdoors as the shelters often tend to have violence such as robbery and assault, etc. and this is when so many of them sadly freeze to death outside in cold like this. It's so cold too you have ice on your windows, your water pipes freeze and your car won't start. If schools weren't already cancelled due to COVID they would have cancelled the school buses because of the extreme cold even though we're used to it every winter even we still have a limit. It's even too cold to go outside to smoke weed too so today I'll have to just use edibles or vape and I guess Buddy will be shitting in house today.
For the past few days both inside and outside I also often smell a nice strong perfume smell even though no one else is around, and my hubby and the boys are always leaving the lights on when they leave a room and the monthly hydro bill is 300$, sometimes more, and I decided I'm no longer going to pay it; my hubby can pay it now on or it can be someone else's problem; I don't care, but I'm not paying it anymore (I'm still paying the other bills) as I've had enough and I'm fed up, and the bills already take all my $$$ as it is and I have nothing even left over for anything myself, not even anything to buy myself shampoo or deoderant,etc. and it takes all my $$$, and my mother fell reaching for her walker again and landed on her back and my hubby had to interrupt his work call and come from upstairs to help her as he's the only one strong enough( as well as the 27 YR old who was sleeping) to bear her weight and lift her because she couldn't get up and I can imagine him telling them, Hold on; I have to go for a minute; my mother-in-law fell again and I have to go lift her up... Instead of saying I am a gluttonous fat pig I also prefer to say I eat with gusto and it's sad as well to realize I'm so masculine and manly-looking if I ever went trans I wouldn't even need hormones; just need to flatten down my boobs and wear mens' clothes and I'd "pass."
The 27 YR old also saw a kid on TV with asthma using a nebulizer with steam coming out of it and cracked, That kid's smoking da herb! and Buddy was mad at him for not feeding him when he was eating so he kept barking at him but he just laughed and ignored him so he came over to me and barked at me, telling on him, telling me to tell him to feed him(he ended up letting him lick the dish) the 20 YR old slipped and fell on ice and thinks she broke her wrist and if she did it would be ironic after all the gymnastics and cheerleading she did when she was younger if this is how she broke her wrist, and I also found out the 23 YR old when she was younger and had her mermaid obsession(which I remember well and can still picture her swimming in our pool with her mermaid tail) even conjured up a spell to try and 'turn" herself into a mermaid which is kind of comical and funny if it weren't for the fact that even dabbling in spells is dangerous and opens the door to the occult, and one of my few talents as well is I can usually identify who sings a song by recognizing their style of sound by hearing it, and I realized as well if my parents had never met not only would they both have been happier and had happier lives but 3 generations (them, me, and my kids) all would have avoided countless traumas, crisis, misery, unhappiness, brokeness,hurt, pain, suffering, etc. because I never would have been born, never would have met my hubby,and never would have had kids, so if I could go back and change one thing it would be that my parents never met and then all that suffering for all those people would have been avoided. I feel so trapped and helpless in my life,too; in a family I have no "voice"and where I'm abused and not loved or wanted and in a country under lockdown and restriction and I'm not even allowed to leave so there's no escape.
A saint is a person who behaves decently in a shockingly indecent society.- Kurt Vonnegut.
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