Holy Shit.

Now with my cold( what I originally thought was a cold but now I think might be some other virus) I also have a really sore swollen throat which I had when I woke up yesterday and had all day and still today and it feels swollen as well so I wonder if it might be Strep and I finally got a fever too and I was so hot last night(despite it being -15C with wind-chill of -25C) I just slept with a T-shirt on and this morning when I woke up my cheeks were a bright bright red, making me even wonder if I might have Scarlett Fever  or  Parvo virus something. I don't think it's COVID though because I'm pretty sure I had that back in the spring for 3 days(so I should have immunity now, like once you have measles you don't get it again) and all I had was a bad headache for 3 days and I lost my sense of smell and this time I can still smell fine and I'm congested and have a runny nose now too whereas with COVID you don't. I'm soooo fatigued as well all I want to do is sleep and it's getting harder and harder to breathe it feels like it won't be too much longer now and even if it does ends up being COVID (which would be ironic) I still don't regret NOT getting the vaccine ( the Mark of The Beast) as I don't trust it and I would still much rather die naturally than be killed off my some sinister death injection given to me by the gov't and the only way I'd ever get it would be forced upon my cold dead ass. Now they're even considering making it mandatory for everyone soon too so what are they going to do, go door-to-door and hold you down and force you? In Quebec already you can't go to alcohol or cannabis stores without the vaccine passport and they won't allow them to deliver to get around it,either, so it's back to going underground/black market and what next: denying the unvaxxed access to groceries and healthcare,too? There's already talk about having it mandatory to vote.

The other day I heard what I thought was a trumpet in a song I was listening to but it ended up just to be my mother's fart, and I couldn't remember the combination in the lock on the medicine chest and I kept struggling with it over 15 minutes until I finally got it and it was just so frustrating and then I just left it unlocked as I'm not going thru that again, and my mother always has trouble figuring out how to put her Oodie  on and often gets it on backwards with the hood at the front and I said she can always use it like a feed bag and fill up the hood hanging at the front with popcorn and graze out of it and I found out as well the 23 YR old bought a car....in green, naturally, which has always been his fave. colour ever since childhood, the same as the 14 YR old, which also happens to be the colour my hubby hates  and my fave. has always been purple,and yes, if I ever had a car(even though I don't drive) I would get a purple one. Last night I was sitting in the kitchen talking to my mother and the 14 YR old was there and told me to shut up(even though I wasn't even talking to him) and I told him he can't talk to me like that and be so disrespectful and then he yelled at me to go kill myself as I'm so annoying  and he doesn't want to have to listen to me and I told him I'll do it when I'm good and ready; in my own time  and then he said he'll kill himself  then. See the kind of shit and abuse I always have to put up with all the time? I can also relate to a character in a show that said there are people that he is able,and should, connect with but doesn't, but in my case my toxic family just makes it soooo hard.

It's so cold out there,too, too cold to even go out to smoke weed so I took edibles instead but the cold crisp air does feel good soothing my sore throat and cough and cool down my fever but doesn't feel so good on my headache and I'm supposed to take down our Christmas tree this weekend too but I don't feel up to it plus I don't really want to either and I wish it could stay up longer and we could just close the curtains so the neighbours won't see it and think we're weird although I think it's probably already too late for that, and I wonder too when Buddy hears other dogs barking if he thinks to himself, The song of my People!  and my prego Facebook friend has symptoms that sound like when I had my Obstetric Cholestasis with my last baby and I alerted her and it's interesting to see how God always works things out like that and puts people in your path for a reason,and how if she had de-friended me the other day I wouldn't have still been here to warn her, and it's sad too to hear Sinead O'Conner's 17 YR old son Shane committed suicide as well and he was even in the hospital getting treatment and somehow they allowed him to escape! It could have been me,too as both  the 18 and 23 YR olds attemped suicide when they were teens,too, and it's always hardest on the mothers. My heart bleeds for her but at least there's some comfort in knowing he's no longer in pain and is finally at peace in the Arms of God in Heaven.

“It is dangerous to be right in matters of which established authorities are wrong.” — Voltaire