Still Hanging On.

Check this out! I was at the store the other day replenishing my chocolate stash and I found this! My friend F (from grade 6) first told me about it( and he ate the entire thing all at once!) a half-pound Reese Peanut Butter Cup!  This thing is thick; a big boi and I needed a knife to cut it and it's so rich that only a small piece(more like a slice) is all that's needed at any one time and it's just soooo delicious! We also picked up the Easter chocolates while we were there(and I got a good stash just for myself too as everybody knows Easter chocolate has a special taste like no other so I got a few hollow ones, a solid bunny, and a Lindt bunny as well as this massive beast seen here) and I told my hubby NOT to get the 14 YR old the redneck hockey  one he was going to get and he snarled No one else cares except you! so basically admitting that my  thoughts and opinions don't count or matter, and I was even mad at him in my dream the other night,too; he's even an asshole in my dreams,too, and yesterday he even wore noise-cancelling headphones so he wouldn't have to hear me talking! He makes fun of me too because I'm not "tech-savvy" and laughs I thinks the SmartTV is "high tech"(but to someone like me it is) and thinks I'm a retard, but I'm  the one that can also speak 4 languages and he can only speak one  so he can kiss my ass!!

It also broke my heart Russia did  invade Ukraine as well and due to my history with them and how it molded my political views and I'll always remember my time there fondly and it'll always have a piece of my heart I have always supported Russia and even liked Putin but NOT this; I just can't support or condone this and it leaves me feeling betrayed, disillusioned and hurt. It feels like a knife in the back. I just can't wrap my head around it; it doesn't make any sense.Why? I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt; I wanted to believe them when they said they weren't going to invade; I wanted to believe they were just doing military training exercises but this just makes me feel numb and sick inside. Of course if USA gets involved it will trigger WWIII and Trudeau has the audacity to criticize and sanction Russia when HE'S a dictator himself  and just suppressed peaceful protesters and had the country under Martial Law so he shouldn't be one to say anything; what a hypocrite, just like he has no right to criticize China(or anyone else) for human rights abuses when this country treats Indigenous People the way it does. The radio DJ also said Castro's son should retire soon and I thought to myself, Raul isn't his son; he's his brother... and then I "got" it; he meant Trudeau! HA!  I also saw a neighbour the other day flying a Fuck Trudeau! flag on his property and it was a glorious and inspiring sight to see! He's my Brother From Another Mother! I also saw this TV commercial for not toking and driving and I must be a true stoner as I recognized the weed they had in the commercial was cheap-ass reggie; mostly all just stems and seeds!

Yesterday Buddy looked sad and he was extra cuddly too but I don't mind; I love it, and I had this blinding white-hot pain searing thru my lower right abdomen too and it was so bad I almost passed out and I honestly thought something had ruptured and it's still really bad today but more a gnawing pain, like with my gallbladder before,and the 27 YR old said "all I do is watch TV" when I only watch a total of 3 shows plus the news; it's my mother who watches 12 or so shows; we are NOT the same, and I worry she has dementia or Alzheimers, too; in her own words she said she's failing and she's not only forgetful but she mixes up our names, forgets how to spell words, says the wrong words, struggles putting on her Oodie( it was inside-out and she never even noticed and can't figure out where the head or arms holes are and panics when it's over her head and says she "can't breathe") thinks things happened that never did( like she thought I told her at 2 am the COVID mandates ended and I didn't; I was asleep in bed; she imagined it) she's depressed, sleeps in bed all day and doesn't get up until 6 pm, etc.She sees her new doctor soon so hopefully she can discuss it with her because she's just given up. The Def Leppard song Love Bites  also always reminds me of G from 1988 and I see him as The One That Got Away  and whenever I hear that song I think of him and smile and I say a prayer that he's happy and in good health, and growing up I was taught to not believe everything I hear, see, or read, and now as an adult I question things, look deeper and think for myself they call me a Conspiracy Theorist!

My life transitioned from living to just existing years ago.