Truth For The Day.

 

My Eyes!

Yesterday my mother saw her new doctor( a female East Indian in her 30's she said seemed nice) but she couldn't figure out how to put on her tube top(she used to cover up as she doesn't have a bra and had to show the doctor her sore shoulder) and asked me to help her and when I told her to lift her arms up over her head she was puzzled and goes, It doesn't go over your head! scolding me, but of course it does,  and I told her, How else do you think it goes on?  and she just shook her head and mumbled, Oh, I don't know! and it was a struggle; it looked like we were in a wrestling match! The damn thing was so tight and she was like my old Barbie dolls; her arms didn't move and she kept going Oww! oww! That hurts! Stop bending my sore arm! etc. and I told her Well, do you want me to get it on you or not? and it was too small and too tight and she was just too fat and all the blubber and fat rolls kept popping out and it was like trying to over stuff a cabbage roll, or a sausage or a cannoli or something and it kept rolling up and down and ending up on her waist and I had to see her saggy wrinkly old titties and I didn't want to have to actually touch  them; it was just so gross and my eyes were burning. I think I was traumatized. There are just some things you cant un-see and this horrifying image will be burned into my mind simply forever. I finally got it on after fighting for what felt like forever and then she said Can you pull it down more at the bottom? but it kept rolling up because of all the fat rolls and there was really nothing I could do and I tried to explain to her as "gently" as I could that it just didn't fit. She wore it anyway, and I thought at least under  a T-shirt or something so no one would at least see it, but oh,. no, it was visible, she just wore it under her coat which was unzipped, and it was just absolutely horrifying and she looked like  I imagine that wrinkly old hooer Margaret Vegas character the 27 YR old invented; gravel-voiced, smokes, drinks, dresses like a street walker, hangs out at the casino, has brassy bleachy hair, you know the type.

As for the app't, she got a steroid shot in her sore shoulder, right in the joint, and she said it didn't even hurt, so the doc thinks it's likely arthritis and it does feel a bit better,and the doc said she has to use it to improve as well and is still ordering an X-ray just to be sure, and she scolded her too for coming to the app't with a cough and runny nose( even though she did wear a mask to not get others sick) as she now has the Papa Plague  virus my hubby brought into the house, as does the 15 YR old,too; I'm the only one that hasn't gotten sick; I wonder if smoking all that weed somehow gives my throat and lungs a protective barrier and burns the virus? They're all almost all recovered now except for her and they don't  want you to go to the doctor if you're sick which is weird as I always thought that's when you're supposed  to go, esp. at her age as it can quickly turn to pneumonia and she did say her chest sounded a little "crackly". My heel keeps getting worse as well and it also makes me wonder if that squishy lump I also have on that same right ankle isn't really just "fatty tissue" like my doctor said it was months ago ; maybe it's really actually a blood clot, or a tumour or something and it's related to the heel pain? It just makes me wonder if there's any connection?

They're also now recommending a 4th booster of the Clot-Shot too, and my hubby goes "loopy" on just cold medication so I'd love to see what he'd actually be like if he was high, like from smoking a joint; it would be hilarious, and the other day the filter on my doobie was clogged so I just broke it off and used a fork I found out on the back porch and shoved the joint (the small bit that was left) in-between 2 prongs and made my own home-made roach clip! Waste not, want not, plus that shit's expensive! I also found mice turds in my jar of coconut oil even though it had a closed lid on it so I have no idea how the little f*ckers even got in there and of all the things my mother's no longer able to do due to old age infirmity and immobilty the one she worries about the most is not being able to feed the pesky squirrels; you know, those furry pesky littel bastards that always get into our roof and our garbage. Today it's also going up to 15 C and rain and possible storm but lasy night we had an ice storm! The weather is so crazy, and I wonder too if Will Smith smacking Chris Rock at the Oscars  the other night was staged; just a publicity stunt to get people talking to improve ratings; I mean, they are actors, and everything in Hollywood is an illusion, and another theory going around is that it was staged but to bring alopecia awareness(Jada claims to have it, although I have 2 friends with it and they say you either have patchy spots or completely bald; hers looks like she shaved her head to a Buzz cut like I do) as Pfizer apparantly has a new "wonder drug" for alopecia coming out and they're apparantly a sponsor for the Academy Awards...it just makes you wonder, and one of the things I learned early is to not trust anyone,and that people and things are NOT as they seem or what they appear to be,and that there's always more to everything; you just have to look deeper.

My friend J( from grade 8) also said her oldest is 40, and she's 56, meaning that she had him when she was just 16, which is shocking, but to give her credit at least she let him live and didn't kill him, and she has had a difficult life(incl. her brother being killed at age 5 and her parents falling apart as a result; her father becoming an alcoholic and her mother losing her mind, and then as a result the rest of the family suffereing) and now she has 4 kids in total and a few grandkids, and the gov't promises 10$?day childcare as well but it's just yet another way for them to get kids away from the influence of their families and under State indoctrination as soon as possible, as early as possible, right from the beginning, and it's up to the parents to raise their own kids, NOT  the State, and why even have kids if you're not even going to raise them? I never did see the point in that.As for my kids, they think I'm a shit mother (even though I tried and did the best with what I had)so once they grew up and left home I just set them free and let them go. They're independent now so the best thing I could do for them is just not be a part of their lives anymore if that's what they think. They won't have to be burdened by my presence anymore.

When a flower doesn’t bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.

 

Wordless Wednesday.

 

Musing For Today.

 

Wednesday Words.

It's usually been opened and have stuff missing.

Today's roll up your sleeve if you want to keep your job is Hollywood's get on your knees if you ever want to work in this town again.

Ha!

Take the vaccine and shove it up your ass!

The world wasn’t better when you were young, you were just too stupid to notice it’s flaws.

 

Last Day.

I saw this on Quora, written by Marcy Stehling, and it was as if it could have been written by me and I just absolutely felt  it, so here it is, now I share it with you to enjoy as well:

If this was the last day of your life, would you still do the same things that you did today?

Originally Answered: If you knew this was your last day, would you do the same things you have been doing?

Oh heck no, I wouldn’t be doing the same things I have always been doing.

Are you kidding me? Like I want to die and have someone read my old journals! I’m gonna be searching for those things and destroying every one. Well, wait, I’ll be dead, so who cares anyway. Strike destroying journals.

I’d be checking my life insurance again, to be sure it is enough to bury me. I wouldn’t want my kids to have to foot the bill for my funeral. Yes, that I’d do for sure.

I have a couple of secrets I’ve never told anyone. I’d have to get rid of the evidence real quick. Or else my people might say, “Well that old geezer sure had us fooled” after they see me loaded into a body bag. Some secrets will go to the grave with me.

I have to pause and ask myself how I would feel about my kids digging through my junk and throwing most of it away. Is my sock drawer neat and tidy? Are all my dishes done? Have I swept that pesky corner where dirt wants to pile up? Is my bed made? Are all my papers in order and all bills paid? What about my gun? Who will take that? There’s a loaded shotgun in my closet, hope people are careful, maybe I better unload that sucker. And what about my home, my fifth wheel camper? Wonder who will end up with it? And my dog, My sweet Ted, who is going to care for Ted, that bundle of energy encompassed by a fat little body? I would worry about Ted a lot.

I’d have plenty of things to do on my last day. The thing is, no one, generally speaking, knows when it’s their last day. So we leave this world just like we came into it. Empty handed. And we leave our life and our habits and our secrets and our possessions behind for all the world to peer into.

It’s something I’ve thought about, ever since I helped clean out my Granny Liz’s house when she went to assisted living. I felt creepy at first, going through Granny’s things, digging through greeting cards and receipts from old bills, to-do notes in a tiny notebook. Finding my Gramps sick little toys, like a tiny kaleidoscope that shows a woman undressing when you turn it. Good grief, Gramps. I never did get comfortable going through Granny’s old things. I felt like I was in a place where I had no business being.

Now I will be tasked with cleaning out my parents’ home some day, and In comparison with Granny’s, cleaning out my mom’s old junk will probably take me a solid year. I know I’m bad, but every time she keeps a mayonnaise jar or an old catalog, or an appointment card for an appointment done, I envision a great big dumpster sitting in the front yard, filled to overflowing. One person’s treasure is another person’s trash. Or something like that. I hate empty jars and grocery bags and old papers piled everywhere. I try not to think about it.

On second thought, if today was my last day, I wouldn’t want to spend it making my house look perfect for the ones who will have to clean it out. On my last day, I just want to be surrounded by my peeps. My beloved family members and my very best friends in the world. I’d like to be able to tell everyone how much I love them and how much they have meant to me. I’d like to tell every one goodbye and tell them that I’ll be waiting for their arrival in Heaven. I would remind them to get right with God today, because it could be their last day too.

And that brings me to the most important part of my last day. It doesn’t matter if my dishes aren’t done, or my sock drawer is a mess, it doesn’t really even matter if my secrets become common knowledge. What would matter to me most on my last day is to be right with God. To check myself and to pray for forgiveness for my shortcomings.

When evening comes on my last day, I hope I won’t be sad to be leaving all my beloved ones behind. I hope I will be on fire with the knowledge that I’m going to be face to face with my Creator very soon, and to be joyous at the thought of joining Jesus and worshipping with the angels.

Death is only the beginning of a new adventure. The ultimate adventure. I hope I don’t waste my last day on earth lamenting the past. Or trying to make it appear that I was perfect in every way for those who will come and clean up behind me. I think I will just relax on my last day, with my people around me and the joyous knowledge that soon enough we will all be reunited again.

Now I ask myself if I’m ready. If I’m ready to close my eyes one last time on earth, and be flown to Heaven by the angels.

I pray that I am. No tears of sadness or regret.

When God is ready for us to go to our Heavenly Home, we better be darn sure we are ready for God, or else the destination might not be so pleasant. And I know just where I want to spend eternity.

It might be kind of nice to know what day will be our last. I wouldn’t waste it, I know that. Just think, I’ll be off on a brand new adventure, and I won’t even have to pack a bag. Everything I need will be there when I get there. How sweet is that? God has it all figured out, I need not worry about my last day. It’s going to be a good one.