My Eyes!

Yesterday my mother saw her new doctor( a female East Indian in her 30's she said seemed nice) but she couldn't figure out how to put on her tube top(she used to cover up as she doesn't have a bra and had to show the doctor her sore shoulder) and asked me to help her and when I told her to lift her arms up over her head she was puzzled and goes, It doesn't go over your head! scolding me, but of course it does,  and I told her, How else do you think it goes on?  and she just shook her head and mumbled, Oh, I don't know! and it was a struggle; it looked like we were in a wrestling match! The damn thing was so tight and she was like my old Barbie dolls; her arms didn't move and she kept going Oww! oww! That hurts! Stop bending my sore arm! etc. and I told her Well, do you want me to get it on you or not? and it was too small and too tight and she was just too fat and all the blubber and fat rolls kept popping out and it was like trying to over stuff a cabbage roll, or a sausage or a cannoli or something and it kept rolling up and down and ending up on her waist and I had to see her saggy wrinkly old titties and I didn't want to have to actually touch  them; it was just so gross and my eyes were burning. I think I was traumatized. There are just some things you cant un-see and this horrifying image will be burned into my mind simply forever. I finally got it on after fighting for what felt like forever and then she said Can you pull it down more at the bottom? but it kept rolling up because of all the fat rolls and there was really nothing I could do and I tried to explain to her as "gently" as I could that it just didn't fit. She wore it anyway, and I thought at least under  a T-shirt or something so no one would at least see it, but oh,. no, it was visible, she just wore it under her coat which was unzipped, and it was just absolutely horrifying and she looked like  I imagine that wrinkly old hooer Margaret Vegas character the 27 YR old invented; gravel-voiced, smokes, drinks, dresses like a street walker, hangs out at the casino, has brassy bleachy hair, you know the type.

As for the app't, she got a steroid shot in her sore shoulder, right in the joint, and she said it didn't even hurt, so the doc thinks it's likely arthritis and it does feel a bit better,and the doc said she has to use it to improve as well and is still ordering an X-ray just to be sure, and she scolded her too for coming to the app't with a cough and runny nose( even though she did wear a mask to not get others sick) as she now has the Papa Plague  virus my hubby brought into the house, as does the 15 YR old,too; I'm the only one that hasn't gotten sick; I wonder if smoking all that weed somehow gives my throat and lungs a protective barrier and burns the virus? They're all almost all recovered now except for her and they don't  want you to go to the doctor if you're sick which is weird as I always thought that's when you're supposed  to go, esp. at her age as it can quickly turn to pneumonia and she did say her chest sounded a little "crackly". My heel keeps getting worse as well and it also makes me wonder if that squishy lump I also have on that same right ankle isn't really just "fatty tissue" like my doctor said it was months ago ; maybe it's really actually a blood clot, or a tumour or something and it's related to the heel pain? It just makes me wonder if there's any connection?

They're also now recommending a 4th booster of the Clot-Shot too, and my hubby goes "loopy" on just cold medication so I'd love to see what he'd actually be like if he was high, like from smoking a joint; it would be hilarious, and the other day the filter on my doobie was clogged so I just broke it off and used a fork I found out on the back porch and shoved the joint (the small bit that was left) in-between 2 prongs and made my own home-made roach clip! Waste not, want not, plus that shit's expensive! I also found mice turds in my jar of coconut oil even though it had a closed lid on it so I have no idea how the little f*ckers even got in there and of all the things my mother's no longer able to do due to old age infirmity and immobilty the one she worries about the most is not being able to feed the pesky squirrels; you know, those furry pesky littel bastards that always get into our roof and our garbage. Today it's also going up to 15 C and rain and possible storm but lasy night we had an ice storm! The weather is so crazy, and I wonder too if Will Smith smacking Chris Rock at the Oscars  the other night was staged; just a publicity stunt to get people talking to improve ratings; I mean, they are actors, and everything in Hollywood is an illusion, and another theory going around is that it was staged but to bring alopecia awareness(Jada claims to have it, although I have 2 friends with it and they say you either have patchy spots or completely bald; hers looks like she shaved her head to a Buzz cut like I do) as Pfizer apparantly has a new "wonder drug" for alopecia coming out and they're apparantly a sponsor for the Academy Awards...it just makes you wonder, and one of the things I learned early is to not trust anyone,and that people and things are NOT as they seem or what they appear to be,and that there's always more to everything; you just have to look deeper.

My friend J( from grade 8) also said her oldest is 40, and she's 56, meaning that she had him when she was just 16, which is shocking, but to give her credit at least she let him live and didn't kill him, and she has had a difficult life(incl. her brother being killed at age 5 and her parents falling apart as a result; her father becoming an alcoholic and her mother losing her mind, and then as a result the rest of the family suffereing) and now she has 4 kids in total and a few grandkids, and the gov't promises 10$?day childcare as well but it's just yet another way for them to get kids away from the influence of their families and under State indoctrination as soon as possible, as early as possible, right from the beginning, and it's up to the parents to raise their own kids, NOT  the State, and why even have kids if you're not even going to raise them? I never did see the point in that.As for my kids, they think I'm a shit mother (even though I tried and did the best with what I had)so once they grew up and left home I just set them free and let them go. They're independent now so the best thing I could do for them is just not be a part of their lives anymore if that's what they think. They won't have to be burdened by my presence anymore.

When a flower doesn’t bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.