Warrior.

As much as I hate my old, fat, saggy, beaten-down pathetic-looking broken body when I really think about it though it's actually a warrior that has survived many battles and has done alot of amazing things and I really should give it more credit. Despite the stretch marks, the scars, the rolls of fat, the saggy-baggy elephant skin, the cellulite, the varicose veins, the moles, the freckles, the age spots, the wrinkles, the blubber, the flab, etc, it has survived alot, incl. 17 pregnancies, 11 labours and births, 6 miscarriages, 6 surgeries, 6 or 7 suicide attempts(I've lost count), 3 episodes of PTSD, countless medical issues, mental illness, etc. and yet it still survives and carries on, despite being in such poor condition. It's a warrior; a survivor,  and so am I. I guess by all accounts I should be proud of it, for all it's endured, what it's survived, all it's gone thru, and realize that it really has taken a tough beating and yet always bounced back. It has helped create and nourish 11 new lives and when you just think about that alone it's pretty amazing in itself and maybe, just maybe, I should thank it a bit more than I do instead of hating it so much and being so ashamed and repulsed by it. Instead of being repulsed every time I look in the mirror I should feel accomplished.

This is also Buddy enjoying the first day of spring, and yesterday I went to the store to get a few essentials and I got the coolest thing ever: a shampoo bar; it's shampoo but in a solid bar like a bar of soap! It's the coolest thing ever and perfect for me with my Buzz-cut; I just wet my head and rub the shampoo bar all over and it lathers up! My foot(heel) hurt even more though after walking around the store a bit and now I can't even use it at all and I hobble along like a cripple and I wonder if maybe it really is  broken( although I have no idea how) why else would it hurt so much I can't even walk, and the 22 YR old also has laryngitis and I remember I had that too for an entire week  when I was in highschool and I had to always carry around a pen and paper and write everything down because I couldn't talk; the only sound I could make was a little squeak, and my hubby got a bonus at work so he bought new shoes as his old ones had holes in the bottom and little stones and pebbles kept coming thru the hole. Poverty sucks! My mother also asked to borrow my tube top (I use in the summer to suntan ) for her doctor's app't as she doesn't have a bra and needs something to cover up but to access her sore shoulder and I have no problem lending it to her except it's all shabby and stretched out and full of holes and not suitable for public so she had me look for one when I was out at the store but they only had ones with straps so I ordered her one off Amazon but even with Prime it still won't arrive until the 28th and her app't is on the 30th so it's really cutting it close and we just hope it comes on time or else she's S.O.L. Today the mask mandates end too and I saw many discarded face diapers tossed in the street and I rejoiced(but don't agree with littering though) and for the first time in 3 year finally a sense of freedom  and normalcy!

“A small minority cannot control an uncooperative majority, so they must be distracted, divided, tyrannised, or anaesthetised into compliance.” ~ Russell Brand