My seven-year-old son learned the word “fuck” from an older kid.
He started saying it at home. If you think he’d listen to a thoughtful request asking him to stop, then you clearly don’t know him.
Let’s just say that when our adorable three-year-old twins picked it up from him and started chanting “fuck” with their radiant cheek-chub and a twinkle in their eyes, it really got under our skin.
The breakthrough came when he decided to spell it out.
Since he’s a kid, and kids are dumb, he wrote it out as FAC.
“Is this how you spell the word ‘fuck’?” he asked my wife and me, holding up the paper.
“Yes, that’s exactly how you spell ‘FAC’,” responded my wife.
“What does it mean?” my son asked with a challenging grin.
“It’s an acronym that stands for ‘Federal Association Committee.’ Right, Ben?”
“Oh yeah, definitely. It’s the committee that’s in charge of all other oversight committees, including branches of government such as the judiciary and regulatory.” It took all of my will power to maintain a straight face and not double over with laughter.
“Wait, what?” a look of disappointment crested his face.
“Oh, yeah,” said my wife. “They also monitor appropriate content for kids. That’s why you can’t listen to Eminem. If we play it to you, they could take you away to a foster home.”
I swear the giggles were tickling my tummy so hard. But instead of surrendering to the laughter, I couldn’t help but think that whoever said women were smarter than men was clearly right.
“Is that really what it means?!” the disappointment became a frown of anger.
“Oh, yes. The FAC is a big deal,” I chipped in. “Even Donald Trump is terrified of their power.”
He crossed his arms, gave us both a suspicion-filled thanks-for-ruining-this-super-
Checkmate, motherfucker.
No comments:
Post a Comment