Not much going on, just this for today. Here is Buddy enjoying being outside yesterday and you can see the hole on his face which hasn't bled now since yesterday afternoon and yesterday I could feel myself "leaving" my body as I was napping too and he kept barking, not letting me, as he didn't want to let me go. Isn't that just so sweet? I know he loves me but it also pissed me off as I kept trying to float away and he kept distracting me and pulling me back. I still have the bad back and abdomenal pain and my abdomen feel like it's all heavy and full of hardened cement and my stomach hurts now as well, likely my liver. Maybe both my kidneys and liver(and I have been itchy lately,too) are failing? I also look down at my wrinkled, puffy, saggy, age-spotted, freckled old lady hands and don't recognize them as mine and it's just so depressing and demoralizing, and people think if I smoke weed twice a day it's alot yet if someome just smoked 2 tobacco cigarettes a day they wouldn't consider that to be a "heavy" smoker, so why is that,anyway? I also had this revelation before that I'm going to die on the 29th too but I don't know which 29th; which month or year but there was an allusion it was to be a Friday the 29th so every time the 29th rolls around (esp. if it's a Friday!)I wonder Will today be the day? and today is the 29th so here we go...
I also haven't heard from a Facebook friend in months now and she was struggling so I hope she hasn't killed herself and disappeard into obscurity, and now Trudeau calls Russia's attack on Ukraine "genocide" when what really was genocide was what this country did to the Indigenous people so he's one to talk; he's such a hypocrite, and this weekend a convoy of motorcycles is descending upon Ottawa for a freedom rally and protest as well and if the gov't thought that the truckers were tough I'd like to see them try to take on a bunch of bikers!! HA! Growing up other girls also dreamed of being flight attendents as well but I wanted to be the pilot, and one of my biggest embarrassments too was how I struggled in Shop Class in Jr.High(both boys and girls had to take Shop and Home Ec) I did well with cooking and sewing but NOT in metal and wood; I struggled with not only making the blueprints(I had to always have my friend help me) with the measurements, dimensions, and math with my perception problem but also in making the damn things. I mean, how stupid do you have to be to struggle with Shop class? That's where all the dumb kids usually do well!
I also don't get it with trans people MTF why anyone would purposely want to be a woman though when women are frequently raped, harrassed, paid less than men, don't feel safe walking home alone at night or in the dark,etc. It's much easier to be a guy, and the good thing about the girls moving out is I no longer find slutty thong underwear in the laundry anymore, and if I don't stop watching so much Monty Python soon I'm going to start speaking with a British accent, and my family hates it I complain so "much" too but it's only because my needs aren't being met and my voice is never heard.
Is a dream a lie that don't come true, or is it something worse? -Bruce Springsteen.
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