Maya.

May is always a Bad Luck month for us. Something bad always happens in May. Most of the people in our family that have died have died in May. We had the fire in May. Our dog died in May. My mother lost her job in May. We always have some major expense or need some major repair in May. There's always some sort of crisis, medical issues, misfortune, etc. in May. Every May we dread what's going to happen and we can't rest easy until the month has safely passed. I hate to think what's going to happen this year. I just hope no one dies. I guess I'm lucky that the 2 kids that I had in May survived. I had this scary nightmare that Buddy died and I had "left" him somewhere( not that I ever would) and didn't know where he was until someone told me that he had died on the bottom step of the side door waiting for me and that he suffered a painful death dying alone, yelping in pain and I felt so guilty and so horrible and awful it woke me up and I was so glad it was just a dream and not real. I also had these other 2 weird dreams as well I was spared being murdered because I have tattoos and it would make it easier to identify me, even in pieces, and another I came across mountains of literal pizza, complete with yummy melted cheese I ate my way thru.

Last night and today either my left ear or jaw(I'm not sure which as they're connected) aches again and my abdomenal pain feels like bad period cramps even though I no longer have a uterus anymore and my back still hurts so much it feels like my spine will break, and the 27 YR old says I'm "lazy" relaxing outside but what I'm actually doing is communing with nature, comtemplating life,and getting sun therapy, and the other day I thought I smelled decomposing dead mouse when it was just my mother eating sauerkraut and I asked if a song she was listening to was Frank Sinatra and she said No, it's Alvin and I said Alvin? Who the f*ck is Alvin? The only Alvin I know is Alvin the chipmunk but it turned out she said Elvis but with no teeth it sounded like Alvin.

This morning Buddy also saw his friends and their hooman told me he saw a meth head smoking his pipe behind our fence last night and I don't really care just as long as he doesn't bother us, and he also said he hopes to sell the puppies for 1900$ and I flipped! 1900$ for mixed-breed? You can get a purebred for that! He said all you have to do is say hypo-allergenic an it will sell( just like use the "magic" word organic and you can charge twice as much and the suckers will buy it) and I let him know that if he ever had to move and couldn't take all the dogs with him(he has 3 of his own, plus the 6 puppies) that I'd be interested in buying his Chihuahua/Pug mix; he's brown and white and just the sweetest little thing(as well as Buddy's friend, and Buddy isn't going to live forever)and in the toilet paper there's a find and win contest but it's just for redneck hockey tickets so I'm not even going to bother to look, and and when I was younger I used to eagerly look forward to the next thing,too, but now I've learned to enjoy the present moment.

Workers of the world unite! - Karl Marx.