The Retarded Mug.

We have this hand-made mug(shown here) we got at a thrift store and my hubby absolutely hates it. So much, in fact, that I've even had to hide it from him because he keeps trying to throw it out in the garbage! Why? Because he thinks it's deformed, and even calls it the Retarded Mug. If you look, you can see that the handle isn't on right or in the right place but rather down slightly down lower than it should be and somewhat crooked. At first I didn't even really think that it was a defect but rather just art; that it was purposely done like that for creative style, to be unique the way art is supposed to be but he says it's a "reject" so he hates it but I think that's what makes it special and unique. I feel just like that mug; different, unique, not like the others, made wrong,and because of my "defects" I am also rejected and cast aside and instead of seeing my unique and special qualities people just see me as different, broken, not "right", not the "norm", a deviation,and cast me aside in disgust. I think when everything and everyone is the same though it's boring. Variety is nice, like look at all the different varieties and types of animals, flowers, and plants, for example,and think of how boring it would be if they were all the same.It's the same for people,too if only they would see it. As for me, my heel pain is even worse lately, and I keep having this recurring dream I have a connectinbg flight in Frankfurt( like I have actually havve had a few times in real life) but don't know my final destination which is weird and I wonder what it means?

I also have this scary feeling that Buddy's dying( and esp. since it is May when something bad always happens to us) and he just seems "off", and the Liberals said if they win the provincial election next month(God forbid!) they'll add COVID vaccines to the mandatory vaccines required for school for kids so hopefully that will ruin any chances of them being elected, and one of my cousins in Europe bought an inn, and Elon Musk says someone is trying to kill him and that's the downside to being rich and famous; you have your haters,those that are jealous,and someone's always trying to kill you; it's much better to just have a simple, boring, ordinary life, and yesterday my hubby saw his doctor as he has these what I thought were big moles on his back but ended up to just be seborrhic keratosos which is basically skin spots in old people, ha,ha, and he was 4 hours and still not home and we were getting worried; I thought the doctor sent him right to the hospital to have it removed and my mother thought he was in a car accident but it turned out he just stopped off to visit his brother, who hit a dog with his car and killed it...the same day he also hit and killed a bird,too!

My mother also always cooks separate separate meals for my hubby too because he's picky and won't eat what's served even though he's perfectly capable of cooking his own food and it's not a restaurant and she won't do it for anyone else and her excuse is He works yet so do millions of other people every day too and they still manage to cook for themselves, and the other day he also snarked at me he couldn't watch his TV show because I was watching Monty Python repeats except for me they weren't 'repeats"; I hadn't seen them before and they were new for me and then he scoffed, What kind of upbringing did you have not watching Monty Python? but it just wans't my mother's type of humour so I wasn't exposed to it and besides, HE never went to live theatre performances, the opera, the ballet, or concerts growing up like I  did, so I could also ask him  the same  thing then,too, what kind of upbringing did he have growing up not going to those events? 

Last night he also just took one of my Easter chocolate stash without even asking and just told me he took it even when I said not to and to take a chocolate bar instead; it didn't matter; my consent means nothing,(no means no) and I felt so violated and me and my things are so disrespected and yet if I made too much of a 'fuss" or protested too much he'd say I'm a "greedy selfish bitch that doesn't share" so I just can't "win" either way and it's still my fault. I'm also afraid to ask him why he's rejected me sexually for the past 15 YRS too as I'm scared of what he might say, because I'm fat( even though he's also gained weight over the years too and he's no "prize",either) even though he'll probably blame the weed even though I've only been using that for the past 8 years....I just can't take any more rejection.

If what Jesus said was good, what can it matter whether he was God or not?- Kurt Vonnegut.