Ugly Duckling.

I recently saw a photo of Khloe Kardashian(shown below) and I was blown away and didn't even recognize her; it was like a completely different person! This is what she used to look like before( pictured above) and what I remember her as. Just to make it clear I do NOT follow them and am proud to say I have never seen a single episode of their show and couldn't care less about them; I think they are talentless and only famous for being famous and are nothing but glorified porn stars and fame whores( as well as regular whores) but they are so famous that I still hear stuff secondf-hand which is how I am even aware of them in the first place and know this much. Khloe was the Ugly Duckling  among her prettier sisters; she was fat and unattractive....until she got a bunch of plastic surgery and look at her now; now she's the prettiest of them all after dieting and  surgery!  It inspires other ugly people like me that there is hope, but still only if you have an endless amount of $$$ to be able to afford the best plastic surgeons. It reminds me of this TV show I used to watch years ago called The Swan where they'd transform average or even homely women into beauties by plastic surgery, make-overs, and it was incredible and what it did for their confidence, to empower them, and for the first time in their lives they weren't "invisible" and they got male attention it was life-changing, amazing and inspirational. I had always hoped that I was the Ugly Duckling too growing up that once I became an adult I too would transform into the beautiful swan although I never did; I still stayed ugly.

Yesterday I also walked into the room and addressed Buddy, Hi, Sweetie!  and the 15 YR old was there(I didn't see him sitting there curled up quiety in a chair hidden in the corner) and he replied, Hi! (it was so funny!) and he asked me Why do you love Buddy so much? but why wouldn't I? he loves me (the only one that does) and I love him back , I've also been really itchy lately( esp. my chest) so my liver must be acting-up again(plus it also hurts in that area) and maybe my bad abdomenal pain is my diverticulitis flaring up, I noticed a bird's nest in our tree at the front of our house and every time the parents come in with food you can hear the babies loudly chirping, and yesterday I saw a neighbour kid walking home from school blowing a dandilion into the wind and another girl dancing and twirling not knowing anyone was watching and it reminded me of my happy ccarefree days of childhood, and I think the dance teacher across the street has something going on with the UPS driver too as 3 days in a row he's been there and yesterday he stayed for almost 30 minutes! Child # 8 also turns 23 on the 29th 

I found out as well that friends from our old church that have the bakery will be on The Food Network  and they recently shut down for a week for renovations and filming and I think that's the coolest thing ever, and one of my cousins in Europe filled up her gas tank and it cost over 200$ in our $$$ so it's bad everywhere and so expensive to live, and I asked my hubby since he must make a good salary where all the $$$ is going because we're certainly NOT seeing it and he said he's investing it for the future.....meanwhile we're struggling to pay bills in the present and signs of poverty are evident: the wiggly leg on the coffee table, rust stains on the toilets, broken fence, mismatched kitchen chairs, peeling paint on outside upper windows we can't reach but can't afford to hire a professional, leaking kitchen ceiling,broken toaster, dying TV, piece-of-shit computer, etc. and he said we should sell the house to save $$$ and move into an apt. but going from house ownership to renting is going backwards  and I HATE apartments and will never  move back into one and I won't be able to have my dog or yard to sit outside and those are my 2 greatest enjoyments in life! He also complains always having to "do stuff" for my mother and I and take us places(since neither of us drive) but he hardly helps out financially(other than paying for the car) so it's the least he can do and I hope I die before my $$$ runs out( once the youngest turns 18 in 3 more years) otherwise I'll end homeless in the streets.

I saw this prom dress the other day and I love it. It's pretty and modest and not slutty like most nowadays and the girl looks so pretty and nice but in a good way. It's nice to see that there still are some good and decent kids around.There's just so many assholes, bitches, and ho's in the world today it's hard and rare to find a decent moral person nowadays. I remember one of the funniest things from my childhood too: my cousin said he would come with me to get a gerbil but it was raining and he changed his mind and he said I'm not stupid enough to go out in the rain!  and I huffed, Well, I  am!  and everyone laughed. I meant  that I was still going to go out in the rain, not that I was stupid; it just came out the wrong way, and when I was 19 listening to my INXS cassette my mother thought it was pronounced INKS (instead of In Excess) and it cracked me up.I also always wondered what the word Pompatus  meant in the Steve Miller Band  song The Joker  and then just the other day found out that it's not even a real word; just a nonsense word he made up for the song and here all along I was worried I was just dumb or didn't know English well, ha,ha! Sad,too, with the recent school shooting in Texas I heard the husband of a teacher killed had a heart-attack and died of grief of losing his wife; he literally died of a broken heart and that's what will  happen to me when Buddy dies,too.We are so connected that one can't survive without the other.

The purpose of art is to make your soul grow.-Kurt Vonnegut.