Heatwave.

We're in the middle of a heatwave with average temp 32C with humidex of 41 C with an extreme heat advisory. It's so hot I haven't even been able to suntan for days or even go out in the backyard where it's the hottest and as soon as you open the back door you're hit with this wall of heat and it just feels like a sauna.( The backyard feels like Florida and the front feels like California.)I'm only able to sit out at the front on the veranda which is always cooler and has shade from the big maple trees in front of our house and next door and even then poor Buddy was getting heatstroke yesterday; all lethargic and floppy and limp and I had to bring him inside with the A/C and today I'm not even lettig him go out, except to go to the bathroom..Despite our sunflowers being pretty much dead from the birds and critters decimating them I was also surprised to see that they're still starting to bloom new blossoms, seen here. I guess they are survivors like me. Life always finds a way.

Buddy had also 3 diarrheas overnight so it must be something he ate and 6 hours before we had that big thunderstorm last night around Midnight I knew it was coming as well(and that it was going to be a big one) because all of a sudden I was hit upside the head on the right side by a blinding headache that felt like a thunderclap so the air pressure must have suddenly dropped( my head is like a barometer) and I was supposed to get a cookie in my KFC Fill-Up too but it wasn't there( and it's not the first time it's happened,either) for my snack last night so I either have incredibly bad luck or else my hubby took it and ate it himself or gave it to the 15 YR old or something and just said they forgot to put it in but either way he scoffed I'm NOT going back!  and I hate always getting ripped-off and feel cheated.

Thankfully my pain is better than the other day( still bad, but less) so maybe I did have kidney stones like I thought and they've passed, and even da blessed herb just takes the 'edge" off so you know the pain is bad and yesterday I read the strangest thing ever: Elon Musk's creepy dad(who is in his 70's) fathered 2 kids with his 39 YR old step-daughter and was asked to donate sperm for artificial insemination  to wealthy women to "make more Elons."

There are simply no words.

I also still hold out hope that one day I will find my True Love; that someone somewhare will see something in me worth loving; something that no one else does. That he will see me as beautiful because he loves me. That he will find me endearing and not annoying. That my thoughts and opinions will be valued and not mocked and belittled and berated. He will think my deformed toes are "cute" (and not "retarded") because they're part of me and he loves all of me. He will like my quirks and twisted sense of humour and not think I'm weird. He will think what I have on the inside "makes up" for what I lack on the outside.That instead of being talked down to like Why are you even speaking? being asked What do you think? What's your opinion? actually being valued and treated kindly and with respect. Buddy is my heart-dog, my soul-mate and the love of my life but I still need a human romantic love,too.

Let it be.-The Beatles