Paczki.

Look what we got yesterday: paczki; Polish donuts you can only find during Lent! I just love those things and jelly donuts are my absolute fave! I even got a pack all of my very own! Eeeeeee!! I've also had baaaad abdomenal pain for the past few days as well and sharp blinding white-hot pain in the lower right abdomen and lower right back, maybe my appendix or right kidney and also a bad headache yesterday on top of that and really bad heartburn that woke me up out of my nap yesterday too deep in the middle of my chest a sharp burning feeling that took my breath away and both my upper arms also felt really heavy, tired, and weary, so maybe it's even an immiment heart-attack instead and when I die I wonder what my last memory will be, and if it will be like in a movie I saw recently where the main character saw his fave. memory( of him, his ex-wife,and his daughter at the beach) as he was dying and what mine will be, likely either sitting under a palm tree at the beach watching the sun set in Jamaica or that day at the park when I was a kid wearing my light purple padded jacket watching hundreds of Monarch butterflies fill the sky. I know I must be officially old now,too, as I heard someone got a "snake-bite" piercing and had no idea what that was and had to Google it.

Yesterday my hubby also picked up my pills at the pharmacy but I couldn't find them even though he swore he got them and they were in the house somewhere so I looked all over, in a frantic panic as out of all of my pills thses are the ones I need the most as they takes care of migraines, seizures, heart issues, and bipolar, and finally my hubby found them on the kitchen floor; they had been buried and hidden underneath a pile of bags and I don't know who hid them there but I can imagine, and if the 15 YR old was a food he'd be a chicken wing,too; mostly all bone and not much meat, whereas I'd be a big fat pork roast and he's like a human sloth as well, long with long limbs and a mop of hair on his head that hangs in his eyes and he moves at a sloth's pace as well, just like every teenage boy. A cousin in Europe also got her first tattoo I wonder if it's a midlife crisis( she's in her 40's) and I have 12-13 tattoos(I lost count) and got my first one when I was 20.I like tattoos(obviously) just not on women's hands and not on anyone's face.

Yesterday was also so cold( -18C) even inside Buddy had to wear his coat to keep warm and I took my clothes and socks off as well and tossed them in the dryer to get all nice and warm and then put them back on to get warm, and for the past few days Buddy's gums have also been bleeding where his teeth are loose and coming out and this morning whe he sneezed blood came out on the snow, and when I said how he's the best dog in the world my mother said God saved the best for last  and said ...you won't be getting any more... I told her uh, yes, I will, otherwise who will keep me company? Even though no one can ever "replace" him I still need someone to love and to love me, and of all the languages I know English is definitely the hardest too and then German, then Russian and then French, and I hope that I have accomplished something with and in my life,too, and done some good; that my life hasn't been a total waste; that I have at least served some purpose and that it wasn't all just for nothing.

 I can still remember when my BFF and I were 12 too she told me her mother beat her in the face with wooden clogs (even though I never saw any bruises or anything myself) and I told her she can always tell a teacher or the principal although then she'd probably also end up in foster care which would likely be much worse and so she never did and I now realize that it's just part of Asian culture to be a Tiger Mother , and it also snowed in California and somewhere in the Middle East as well(I forgot where, I think Saudi Arabia, but the last time it happened was 100 years ago) again fulfilling Bible prophecy of "extreme and unusual weather patterns and natural disasters in the Last Days." Global warming and climate change, my ass.

The brevity of life is so short and time is the only thing money can’t buy. -Joonie