Quick Update.

Just a quick update, not too much going on but I get my lower abdomenal ultrasound tomorrow and I hope it's my appendix or something causing my pain that they can just remove and then I'm done with it and not just my diverticulitis because they can't do anything for that and I'm just stuck with it. Today my abdomenal and back pain is really bad and my left arm even hurts too and I also have this feeling of impending doom as well as this feeling that everything is coming to an end and a close so maybe I really am dying soon? I'm honestly ok with that though and I'm ready; I have been for a long time. Buddy also sneezed and blood and a clot came out either from his nose or mouth and  every time I don't do my mother's work for her or don't do anything she says or tells me to do she sarcastically snarls as well, Thanks for helping!  she's soooo manipulative, and every time my hubby does anything at all for me he sneers, You should be grateful! because everything always comes with conditions with him,and I had kids too hoping to create my own people that would love me but that didn't even work as they don't love me,either, only my dog does,and having kids just ruined everything; it ruined my body, it ruined my relationships with my hubby and with my mother( as she over-steps boundaries) it ruined my life and it ruined me. I also heard gunshots outside again last night too and it feels like I'm living in da Hood.

If I was a bird I'd be a phoenix because it’s the bird that flames out and rises from the ashes to fly again.