For Sale...Once Again.

So the house at the end of our street at the corner 2 houses down from us(where our friends from the old church used to live) where the people from Toronto moved in not too long ago is now up for sale once again( for like the 6th time or so since we've lived here) and they're asking a whopping 842K! There's no way they're going to ever get that much here; no houses sell for that much around here and The Scottish Lady just across the street from them with a similar house sold hers for half the price! I bet the Toronto people couldn't adjust to living in a hick-ass redneck Bumble-f*ck town! HA! It's always interesting to see as well how neighbours decorate and furnish their homes and this one is another black and white themed one which I don't like; too "pristine"-looking, like it's not even lived in and where's the clutter?Not a single thing is out of place and not a speck of mess? I don't know anybody  that really actually lives like that with a house so spotless and clean,either, plus I prefer a house with more "lively" bright colours, but to each his own I guess.

I also downloaded 2 Reggae songs and something stupid,too: there was a planned power outage near Toronto last night for maintenance work, only they said if the hockey game ran late they'd extend the power outage and start it later, just for a stupid hockey game! Really? What about the other people that don't want to miss the end of what they're watching,too, like their TV shows or movies? How co0me they don't care about that but will delay the power outage just for a stupid redneck hockey game? Seriously though, WTF? This shithole is just so f*cked up, and I had a dream last night as well I was in my gr.12 German class but I only had a chair and not a desk and then someone came and took my chair too so I had to stand for the class, and I heard Meghan Trainor was actually complaining her hubby's dick is too big and if it were me I'd be down on my hands and knees praising and thanking the Good Lord above for my good fortune!

Buddy is also such a diva he won't lay on his blanket on his bed until I smooth out all the wrinkles first but I do it because that's what love is, and I woke up yesterday with a "kink" in my neck that felt like a pinched nerve so I must have slept on it wrong and my stomach, abdomenal and back pain must be cancer and not just my diverticulitis as it just 'flares" up at times and isn't constant daily pain like I have now and I don't think it's supposed to be this painful,either, and I'm tired of nothing ever working and everything we have a piece of shit,too,and the 28 YR old said for me to get a job if I want nice things, but really? With my autism, bipolar, social phobia, and all my medical issues what job would I really even be able to do, not to mention the fact that I can't stand for long or I faint, plus I don't have any skills for anything,either and I don't get along with people, so there's that,too.

My mother said she can also still remember when she was a kid always tripping and falling and always having scabs on her knees and knocking her milk over at the table and her father smacking her for always "being so dumb and clumsy" but now it all makes sense as clumsiness is a typical  presentation of autism, although she always denies having it and says I "must have gotten it from my father"even though I can clearly see it in her,too.

I can remember as well the 28 YR old's ex- GF in California her friends saying she "made up" and "invented" her Canadian BF and just thought she was telling stories and didn't believe her. and didn't think he was real...until the day he showed up at her highschool graduation and then they were all just gobsmacked to find out he really did exist.

I also think it was all for nothing many things in my life, such as in 1983 when I went to L.A a few times and fell in love with it and when my mother lost her job at the hospital we decided to move there in 1984 and she even studied and took the California State exam to get her license there(and passed) and we moved....but all for nothing as within 2 weeks we both got mugged in 2 separate occasions and didn't feel safe so we just ended up coming back....and she spent all that time studying and getting her license and her employer(I think it was Cedars-Sinai if I remember correctly) got our visas etc. and I was enrolled at the Beverly Hills Prep School (and took and passed the admissions test as well) and we bought all new furniture(we had to give away as well as my dog, a Samoyed, to our gardener and his relatives who were newlyweds)....and then only to have to buy all new furniture once again when we came back ....and for what? All that for nothing! Why exactly did we have to go thru all that, and for nothing? All those dashed hopes,and dreams, and expense, etc, all for nothing, and why?

Why did it go so far all for nothing?

Another all for nothing was me having kids.My entire life ever since I was a kid I've always wanted kids, my whole life; it was my life-long dream, and I thought I was too ugly to ever find a husband so I thought I would have artificial insemination but I did get married and have kids the old-fashioned way  and I dedicated my life to raising and homeschooling them only to lose them to the world once they went off  to the university and moved out into the world and they turned away from God and everything I raised them to be and they ended up hatimg me and cutting me out of their lives once they grew up.

Once again, all for nothing.

Shattered hopes and dreams.

Every child needs needs love from their parents, some of us get it while others get a variation of what I got. Most of us on the darker end of the variation are no longer here.-Kevin