Cursed?

I just had a thought: you know how I've always been plagued with bad luck my entire life, with misfortune, trauma, and everything always going wrong, always being that unfortunate unlucky one-out-of-a -million and it feels like I've been cursed? Well, since I have deeply-hidden suppressed memories of voodoo in my mind either of forgotten childhood memories or from a past life; I know things, I recognize things, I remember things, and  it makes me wonder if maybe either me, my parents, or my family perhaps was actually cursed at one time; that someone really did put a curse on someone , which can go down generations? Something opened a door and let evil in. It does seem possible, esp. now given the memories that flashed back; I recognized and know it for some reason; it's buried deep into my subconscious due to some past experience I tried to bury but still there nonetheless and in this life now, as I am today, I detest the occult and want nothing to do with it, because it's the opposite of God, but maybe there's also more to do with it? I've always wondered why I've always had such bad luck and misfortune in my life and it seems like I've been cursed or something but now it really makes me wonder....

My mother spent all day in bed yesterday with her sore knee as well and even wet the bed( despite diapers) and only my hubby and the 28 YR old are strong enough to be able to lift her and move her(I'm not strong enough and my back can't take it and the youngest is tall but he's wimpy) but they're not always at home and as always she's over-dramatic with her loud moaning, for attention and so people fawn all over her and serve her, and it's getting really tiresome and it's also hard to see her like this and she's becoming increasingly hard to take care of her and sadly I think it's time for a Home for her except we can't afford it, but she did finally try some of my CBD oil for the pain and said it completely wiped it out for 2 hours but wouldn't smoke a joint or take a few bong hits which would relieve the pain for several hours. It was also -1C this morning when I woke up and there's a new shwarma place in town that just operned up I can't wait to try and 2 out of my 3 TV shows are ending for good this season leaving only 1 show for me to watch( plus the news) next season, and I had a delicious watermelon that was so good,too, the kind where the juice drips all down your chin.

I've always felt like I am a nobody going nowhere in life.