Dotard.

I remember years ago when Kim Jong-Un called Trump a dotard, meaning a senile old man and that's exactly what my mother feels like,except for the man part, but she's tired of being so old, feeble, frail, and a burden and she's just given up and not only waiting around to die but now actually willing herself to die and not only just lays around all day in bed yesterday she was even 2 hours late doing her insulin injection,too, and only did it because I kept pestering her to; she's just given up, and because she peed the bed and I had to wash all the sheets yesterday she spent all day laying on the couch( and I hope she didn't pee on it because I spent lots of $$$ on that thing) and spent all night there,too, and never even moved or got up to go to the bathroom, and she even cryptically said, It's time to tell the grandchildren I haven't got much time left just because her knee hurts and she's given up. She also went from the walker to the wheelchair( she inherited from my father-in-law when he died) and she's just given up but I can't say that I blame her, really; I mean what kind of "life" does she really have though just laying in bed all day doing nothing? She doesn't even get outside anymore, so maybe it is her Time and she turns 82 in July, and people come and go in our lives and life goes on but it  will be hard for me since she's been here my entire life(but I won't miss her constant criticism and blame and never being good enough) and we still do need her pension $$$ to pay the bills but I also know that God will provide,too, just as He always has and we'll get thru this just like we always have(and adapted) thru everything else.

This morning I also had a bath-bomb called Sex Goddess ( ha, ha) that smelled lovely like lavender( one of my fave. scents) and turned the water a nice purple colour, and my hubby and the 16 YR old are going to an anime convention in Toronto, and I couldn't suntan topless yesterday because the neighbours were having their roof done and I didn't want to end up traumatizing the poor roofers for life ( they'd take one look at me and say Oh, my God! What is that? and fall off the roof, and I saw a female robin too and she was so pretty and boy, could she fly, and I wish I could trade places with her, and my stomach and back pain is so bad,too I want to close my eyes and just make the pain go away, and I bit into a bagel and didn't know until I'd already eaten some that there were fuzzy green mold in it( ewww!) and I also realized that ancient people only the Greeks and the Egyptians kept their same names; the others changed, such as the Israelites are now Israelis, and the Romans are Italians, the Babylonians are now Iraqis, the Persians are Iranian, etc.It's also sad to realize that people always mean more to me than I ever mean to them.

The pain of living outweighs the joy of living.-Melissiah Victoria