Wildfires.

Yesterday and today the smoke from the wildfires is so bad( even worse today!) the sky was all hazy and dark and looked cloudy and it turned the sun a bright orange colour(I tried to take photos but you can't really tell; it looked better in real life) and when the smoke would block the sun it looked like an eclipse and the bats were even out thinking it was dusk! I could even smell the smoke too and it stung my eyes,makes my nose run, and it smells like a big campfire outside and my hubby smelling the smoke said to me, Were you smoking something or is it just the fires? and I could even smell it in my room during the night as well and it even woke up the 28 YR old during the night; he thought his computer was on fire! The air quality is so bad today too I don't even think I can go outside with my breathing issues. It's also supposed to last for the next few days and then clear up for awhile but come back.We're also in a bad area if the wildfires come this way as well: in cottage country and our backyard is surrounded by trees and wooden fence and deck! Just the way I like it but also not good for forest fires!

Both yesterday and today my stomach and abdomenal pain is soooo bad as well( my back is really bad,too) my teeth were chattering and it was hard for me to go to sleep with the pain and nothing got rid of it, not even smoking weed(which normally eases the pain) and I also noticed half of my right nipple is inverted/has a "dent" in it which may indicate breast cancer and I really wouldn't be surprised with my chronic daily pain,night sweats, and fatigue if my entire body was riddled with cancer and it would be "funny" too with everyone focused on my mother in the hospital if I was the one that ended up actually dying instead, and now it's just a part of my daily routine to go visit her,too after my hubby finishes work and yesterday she had physio, they got her up and "walking" (shuffling, actually) a bit and she hated  it and said it was "torture" and she calls the PSW's the Poop Patrol  and the Shit Crew and she phoned me yesterday at 8:30 am all worried something was wrong as I was "late" calling her even though I don't call her until around Noon, and it was "freaky" yesterday as well; someone called her room asking for her mother who had almost the same name as me; just the difference of an "a" on the end and then my McDonald's order was the same number as her room number! While cleaning up her hoarding mess at home we also found $$$ which ended up  to be hundreds of $$$ too so she has a nice surprise when she comes home,and going to the ER in the ambulance she looked like E.T. too, sitting up in the stretcher all wrapped up in the blanket and over her head with just her face barely peeking out.

This is also the teeny-tiny little baby black walnuts starting to grow on our trees,  and I got 3 iris(I love!) that were growing at the front of the hospital as well as they had been trampled down and were laying down flat on the ground and would have died so I picked them and brought them home(my aunt used to have iris in her yard too; she was a real bitch but she had nice flowers; she had lilacs,too,but never brought them inside, fearful of bugs) when I was a kid I used to call them "flags", and this morning I also picked our only 2 peonies as well and luckily the hospital she's in is only literally 2 minutes or so away, unlike the other 2 where one is 30 minutes away and the other an hour away.I'm also so distracted and absent-minded lately when cooking yesterday I was supposed to start it on high and then reduce the temp. to low for the rest but forgot and just left it on high the whole time and most of the liquid all evaporated and part of it burned and it all stuck to the bottom of the pot. I hadn't even smoked weed; I'm just scatterbrained.The good news is though that my mother seems to be improving each day.

Look up here, I'm in heaven I've got scars that can't be seen I've got drama, can't be stolen Everybody knows me now.-David Bowie