A Happy Birthday.

Yesterday was my mother's 82nd birthday. My hubby, the 28 YR old, 16 YR old, and I visited her. I brought her roses( twice as expensive as carnations but it's her birthday and also picked up some more sunflowers too while I was there because I want some beauty in my life) she likes and we also brought her cards and smuggled in food from Harveys and a birthday cake and the iced vanilla coffee she likes.She seemed happy and had a nice birthday (we were too noisy though and her room-mate left the room)and said the kitchen staff at the hospital even gave her a card,too, and now she has NP(Nurse practitioners) taking over her care and some of the kids phoned her for her birthday as well( the second-oldest, the 24 YR old and the 22 YR old) and they never call me for my birthday or even on Mother's Day and it's not envy I feel but rather sadness and hurt that they can love her yet can't love me. I released them but it's still hurtful. She also said the second-oldest said something about no longer talking to the Edmonton Boys anymore but she doesn't know why so I don't know if it's actually true or not( and no one ever tells me anything and I'm always the last to know) or if it's just another of her delusions.

My mother also said she'd hoped we'd already looked at 3 of the LTC homes by yesterday too( even though my hubby works all day!) when I'd just tried to call them when we got back from visiting her yesterday but they're apparantly only open during the day so I'll try again today, and everyone says that I'm impatient, and yesterday they kept complaining how "loud" I was,too, and that I 'always yell" even though I'm not even aware of it and it's just the way I talk,plus with my autism I get overly excited, over-stimulated, stressed,overwhelmed, anxious, etc and maybe they see it as "loud",.but for the past 2 nights I've also had the best sleep ever in a long time and even vivid dreams and I even remember 2 of them: In real-life there's this kid(age 12 or so?) on our street that always goes by on his scooter  all day up and down the street, back and forth,and he looks so lonely so either he has no friends or they're away for the summer and Scooter Kid was even in my dream and in my dream I felt sorry for him and found a friend for him only it was a llama, and in the other dream I found out someone I used to love and hoped to marry had put a "hit" out on me and I told the gang that was contracted that I had relatives who were "Connected" and the usual reason to kill someone was because they betrayed you, were disloyal, killed one of your people, or ripped you off, but NOT because you loved them.

Yesterday I also saw a tiny baby squirrel that was the size of a chipmunk and it was soooo cute and I know it was a squirrel because it had the bushy tail and it didn't have the markings of a chipmunk, and it was soooo hot out it felt like a sauna and I could only suntan for an hour and had to keep pouring cold water over my head, and then had to go in the shade, and I saw a mouse peeking out of the hood of the car as well near the windshield wipers but everyone accused me of "hallucinating" but I know what I saw and that it was real and with my bipolar I only hallucinate when I'm under intense stress and now the stress has been relieved knowing my mother won't be coming back home and now she's gone everyone gets along alot better,too, without her here to "instigate" , control, influence,and divide us, and I'm going to wait until I get my Scopes done as well and for the results( which you get right away) making sure everything's ok in case I need surgery and then I'll book my trip, and I also found out my friend V( from grade 6 and I named my oldest girl after) is one of 10 kids! Both her parents were university professors,too.

Kids are like birds, always shitting or squawking.