Monday, July 17, 2023

Life Goes On.

We got soooo much rain the other day, over 50 mm and some places nearby got over 70 mm! It was torrential but the grass really needed it though; the edges were all brown! I still never found that gold hoop earring I lost,either, and I've lost so many of them, they just somehow fall out of my ears and now I have no matching pairs left, just odd ones, and the thing sticking out of my ass( hemmoroid or tumour or whatever it is) is also getting bigger and it makes me wonder( esp. with everything else going on) if maybe it really is colo-rectal cancer,afterall, but I still haven't heard back when I get my Scopes yet, and the oldest called my mother as well and suggested when she moves over to LTC that she wears a "funny hat" so they'll notice she's new and recognize her, so maybe something with a propeller or deely-boppers(I had those in the 80's!) on it or something? The 28 YR old also says I'm "obsessed" with her because I phone her daily and she asked again about Buddy, How is Buddy? Is he OK? and she totally forgot all Saturday,too, incl. our visit; the entire day was just a blank and I'll be seeing her again later today.

My hubby also saw a chipmunk in the house but I never did so I guess it must have ran back outside and he was fixing the fence by the pool ( the growing maple tree next-door on the other side broke it)as well and the lid was off the skimmer and he got his foot stuck in there and also got a really gross "soaker" and his shoe was soaking wet( ewww!!) and we also tried gooseberries which look like tiny purple grapes and remind me of those warheads candies that start off sweet but then later on you're hit with a burst of really sour, and someone on Quora also said how they regret having kids as  they had a daughter and loved her with all their heart and she was their entire world and the best thing in their life but then she became something else and went away and I could soooo relate to that with the 20 YR old and the pharmacy couldn't get ahold of my doctor to re-new my pills,either,and I run out on Thursday and my hubby leaves for NYC on Wednesday....

My friend V( from grade 6) is also going to move to Arizona( where she just got back from visiting) where most of her family is and despite her being pretty, popular, and having a loving supportive family she still suffers from. anxiety and depression(like I do) so I guess you don't necessarily have to have a shitty life to suffer from mental illness, it just makes it that much worse, and yesterday it felt like I had a Brain Freeze too only in my chest and today it feels like a pain under my left armpit/side of boob that moves to my chest(and my cough and shortness of breath is worse,too) so maybe it really is my heart, afterall, but I'm ready to die though and I have been for a long time; I'm done with living and with life and once Buddy's gone there's nothing left for me anymore and nothing keeping me here anymore, and I simply don't find any joy in life anymore,either, and apparantly no one knows who the cocaine they found in the White House belongs to,either, which really means the nose candy belongs to someone high up(and they're covering it up), so is old Biden himself snorting the Booger Sugar or maybe his wayward son Hunter?

The secret to happiness is smoking weed, avoiding assholes, and not giving a f*ck.

 

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