Sunny Days.

Yesterday while getting my mother some more fresh cut flowers I also got myself more sunflowers. I don't wait for someone else to buy me flowers; I buy my own and sunflowers are what happiness looks like.  They also finally fixed the elevator and her new room-mate is an old lady with funky purple hair and yesterday when she got up both my mother and I got a big view of her bare naked wrinkly saggy ass(full moon!) and my mother said my legs are "really swollen" and I told her they have been for years and I'm on a diuretic for it and she said, Well, it's NOT working! and she said we "need to get a lawyer"(something else we can't afford) too for the paying the bills even though we just told them plainly deal with us (my hubby and I) now if they want the bills paid and she apologized for "being such a pain-in-the-ass" (even though she's not anymore now she's in the hospital and no longer at home) and gave my hubby a hug....but not me.She's never hugged me. I also told her about the likely teacher's strike and she said she thought they normally do it at the beginning of the school year and not at the end and I told her it's the end of summer and school does go back soon.....when did she think it was; the beginning of summer...and she said, Oh, I don't know...  My Australian Facebook  friend's mother also died and she was 101(wow!)I also called a neighbour J-Jitsu as he does jiu-jitsu with the 28 YR old and his name begins with "J" but as it turns out he's also the same neighbour I call Mr.Sunflower and all this time I thought it was his next-door neighbour; 2 separate people but my hubby told me it's the same guy!

Yesterday as I bagged and tagged the garbage for pick-up there were also hundreds of squirming maggots all over I had to shake them all off( ewww!!!) and it was so humid I couldn't stay in the backyard for long so I went to the front veranda where there's more shade and it's cooler....and I did  see a few birds there, incl grackles which now have their fall/winter plumage; a lighter brown with spots instead of the jet-black with the iridescent blue sheen around their neck so maybe once they ate all the mulberries on our trees they just shit and left; they just "used" us and took off? I also went to give Buddy clean water in his dish....

and something had done a big shit in his water dish!

There was this big turd all curled up in his dish! WTF?

 My guess is either a cat or a raccoon, most likely a raccoon as it was so big; bigger than a cat turd, and raccoons do shit in water( although it had all dried up) so I have to figure out how to go back and review the video on the doorbell recording and see who the guilty culprit is and solve the mystery. I also saw some leaves falling off the trees already; giving up and just letting go and I know that feeling well but it's not time yet; it's too soon; it's not fall yet; it's still summer! I also saw The Dancer  across the street has a new big fluffy puppy so I guess she never did find her dog that ran away and I also saw The Teacher load a pirate costume and a sword into his car. That guy sure is weird.

I really miss not having the pool open for the past few years as well, esp. when it's been really hot, but it costs over 2K to keep it running for the season with all the chemicals and we just don't have the $$$, and the 28 YR old said he's "smarter" than I am,too, and I told him, You may be smarter but I'm more humble! and I realized too that one day I'll be dead and there won't be any more Twitter Tweets, Facebook posts or blog updates; it'll be over, and one day I'll write my last post and not even know it, and on the Asia/Australia cruise I'll cross the International Date Line and will "miss" a day and when I told my mother I'll save some $$$ by not getting an airport pick-up and my hubby can pick me up she asked where does the ship end and I said "Australia" and she said, mouth agape, He's going to pick you up in Australia? and I said, No, at the airport in Toronto! but as it turns out, likely not anyway; at first it looked hopeful and like things were falling into place; the e-mail it was a good price and that the Covid bans were just lifted this week and when I got other e-mails about a similar trip( only just to Japan) for 2025 the cost was 2-3 times as much.....but when the travel agent gave me a quote it ended up more than twice as much  as what it said in the e-mail and almost all the $$$ I have, just for the cruise, and that doesn't even incl. airfares, travel insurance, tours, or any souvenirs...so once again something I was excited about and looking forward to has been shattered and I've been disappointed and let-down again.I thought I finally had enough $$ to go on the trip I wanted.

The story of my life.

So now I have to go thru the shame of poverty and tell the travel agent I can't book it afterall because I just don't have the $$$.

Even after 4 years of saving up.

It's still NOT enough.

It never is.

I never am.

I feel so embarrassed.

Maybe I can just go to a resort in Jamaica or Cuba again. Somewhere cheaper and sooner? That way I still get to get away like I so desperately need, only at a more affordable price, and still have $$$$ left over?

Excuse me while I light my spliff.- Bob Marley