The Acorn.

I saved an acorn from the "Ex" as a sort of a "souvenir" esp. as we don't have many oak trees around here. We do have lots of trees but mostly maples with various other assorted trees such as evergreens, black walnut, birch, etc. I remember when I was a kid I used to also collect acorns and chestnuts as well and that's how I also discovered that I was allergic to chestnuts although I later outgrew it. So this little acorn(it's hard to believe such a big tree can grow from such a small seed) is not only a reminder of my trip to the "Ex"(which is nostalgic itself) but also a reminder of being back home again and of my childhood. It now sits on my computer desk among my hippos, the Dachshund figurine one of the neighbours anonymously left for me one day(I think it was D) and the Dreadlocked  rag doll I got in Grand Turk. I always enjoy watching the people go by at the "Ex" too, always such a wide assortment (and I like to imagine their lives and invent little stories in my head about them) and I think the most interesting was the girl in the chador; all covered in black from head to toe; not just the hijab but the veil and everything; only her eyes were visible.....and the funky black Converse Chuck Taylor Hi-Top sneakers, a contrast, sort of like East meets West, the 2 gay guys holding hands, and the "perfect" good-looking teen couple I dubbed The Prom King & Queen ; you know the type; popular and "idolized"; I hate those kind of people, though; they think they're so much better than everyone else, and in this society we do have a "caste" system just like in India,too, only it's "unspoken", but where the beautiful, the rich, the popular ,etc,are on "top" and the poor, the fat, the ugly, the unpopular, etc. are at the bottom and the 2 groups don't associate.

My hubby also stepped on my foot and refused to apologize, even though my foot was there first and not moving and I felt his stomp on top of mine, and then he tries to "justify" and "excuse" as it as my foot was "under his where he wanted to put his foot" etc. blatantly showing once again his disregard for me; he just doesn't care, and even when I pointed it out he still wouldn't apologize, not even a simple "sorry"; he just kept trying to excuse it, typical narcissist, and he must  have a mistress,too, because what guy is going to go without IT  for over 16 years? he's not getting it from me and even when I initiate it he always rejects me so he must  be getting it from somewhere (although he's no ":prize" either and who else would want his ugly ass?) and I prayed to God to send me someone to love me the way I deserve to be loved and someone that would love me just the way I am and He sent me Buddy.

Yesterday morning I also finally heard the birds singing again in our backyard, and the dance studio across the street has a daycamp in the summer and I heard The Dancer  telling one of the kids they have to move on to the next activity now and she was having none of it and said she wants to draw and The Dancer said, Remember, Mina, we're a team, and we do things together, and it reminded me of when I was a kid(and still now) that I'm just like little Mina; I've never been or felt like, part of a team,either, but always just gone off on my own and done my own thing and never gone along with everyone else, and even in highschool I never had "school spirit" and have never been what they call a "joiner". I was secretly thinking inside my head, Go, Mina, go! I also had a thought: how come the plural of "ox" is "oxen" but the plurals for "box" and "fox" aren't "boxen" and "foxen?" English is just such a weird and confusing language.

I was also surprised to find out people in the Dominican Republic are Black like Jamaicans. Not that I care or anything; I just thought since they speak Spanish that they'd look more like Cubans or Mexicans, but  I guess it makes sense though since they do share half the island (Hispaniola) with Haiti and Haitians are Black, only they speak French, I guess it's just that I don't normally picture Black people as speaking Spanish, just like it's unusual to picture White folks speaking Japanese or Chinese with British accents.I was also shocked to get a bill from the hospital for my mother( who we also visited and her room-mate goes home tomorrow as well so she'll be getting another one yet again) just as if she was in LTC, while she waits for a spot in LTC, as I thought the provincial healthcare plan paid but apparantly not since it's no longer medical(so if she gets sick again do they pay?), so then what are our high taxes even paying for then, and the worst thing my mother ever said to me too was when I was in my early 20's and I finally told her I was molested by a relative from age 4-12 and the first thing she said was, Why didn't you stop him?

Really?

I was just a little kid! What did she expect me to do?

It's such a beautiful madness.-Robbie Robertson