Where Beauty Waits.

My mother won this pretty crocheted afghan in BINGO. Isn't it just beautiful? I just love the rainbow colours and it reminds me of the ones my Babushka used to make and the kind you'd give to a baby. I brought it back home with me after our visit yesterday so the Crazy Lady won't steal it. She's also won a few nice quilts as well. Yesterday she also asked me what hospital she was born in and I said I didn't know and then she said, You where there, don't you remember? Say what,now? Everyone cracked up laughing. She's really "losing" it! I also overheard her newest room-mate complaining to her husband(about her) I have to keep listening to this idiot!  and it got me mad; she's our idiot and other people shouldn't talk about her like that! They also had a therapy dog there, a collie, and my mother said to "rub it all over me to make Buddy jealous" which I thought was mean(and I refused to do but my hubby  gleefully did because he's an asshole like that )and it's so much more peaceful here at home,too, without her here to constantly meddle and  goad and criticize me and make me feel nothing I do is ever good enough and yesterday my hubby rushed me as well to visit before I was ready and he comes out just as I'm smoking 'da blessed herb and then he has the nerve to complain that I 'stink!" My mother's other room-mate that just left also heard me say I liked the lemon tart my mother gave me so she saved me 3 of hers before she left. Wasn't that nice?

I also finally got photos of the 28 YR old's newest Swarovski pieces(I couldn't before as he was up in bed sleeping) and today my hubby and the 16 YR old are meeting up with the 27 YR old and his fiance and going to the CNE and tomorrow to FanExpo( an anime. cosplay expo) so I get 2 days of peace and quiet and a nice little break too(and no cooking!) with just the 28 YR old and Buddy and I here and my hubby said the 27 YR old is a "hoarder"(like my mother!) as well, which is also an indication of mental illness, and I was right ; it was an explosion that crashed Prigozhin's plane, but I have doubts he's really dead though as he knows how to play The Game as well as Putin does and he's not an easy guy to kill(he is a mercenary, afterall!) and he knows how to survive, and is cautious with his security and safe houses,etc, and for one thing just because his name was on the flight manifest doesn't necessarily mean that he was actually on the plane; it could have just also been a diversion or a decoy, and I seriously doubt he'd use his real name,either, but rather an alias, or even better; put his name on several of them and they won't know which one he's really on; he's not stupid! My guess is he has a new identity and is in hiding somewhere. I was also right that the fire that burned a local gardening business to the ground was arson. Can I "call" it, or what?

I also heard there was a tropical storm in the Dominican with flooding and power out to thousands so I hope it's all restored before my trip in 3 weeks and my hubby didn't know that Mexico is part of North America, and he's supposed to be the smart one( ha, ha)and I also had my first pumpkin spice muffin of the season as well( I just LOVE pumpkin spice almost as much as I love chocolate!) and my hubby made some mean comment about me " treating people badly their entire lives and only having a dog for a friend" and that really hurt, esp. since I have no idea what he even means; what exactly does he think I did? I've always tried my best, meant well, had good intentions, and tried to do the right thing ,and follow God but for some reason it just always backfires, goes wrong, gets taken the wrong way, gets misunderstood, makes people mad,etc. and my autism and bipolar always f*cks everything up and people end up hating me, blaming me, misunderstanding me, taking everything I say and do the wrong way,etc. and I do have friends; they're just online(and that doesn't determine the value of your life,anyway; how popular you are or how many friends you have; that's just superficial) because of my social phobia and damage from so many traumas I'm so withdrawn and introverted I'm awkward around people in real life and I don't get out much and I'm glad I have Buddy for a friend(he's NOT a "consolation" prize)he's an answer to my prayer and literally saved my life  and he's the best friend I've ever had and I'm grateful for him! He makes life worth living and to vent and let go of all my pain and hurt and rejection I write. I've always purged thru writing; I had daily diaries for decades and now this blog.I pour all my emotion into writing until one day I finally get to the place where beauty waits and I can finally be happy and find peace and love.

I don't want to be buried in a pet sematary I don't want to live my life again.-Ramones